Inside the women's dormitory, Nasreen awoke soaked in sweat. The pain in her joints had receded, but her hands burned as if scalded. When she opened her eyes, she saw the procuress sitting at the foot of her pallet with a concerned look on her face.
"I hope I didn't wake you," the older woman said. "I came to check on your hands."
Nasreen sat up, wincing as her hands rubbed against the rough wool of the blankets. "They feel like I stuck them in a fire."
"Let me see," said the procuress, motioning for Nasreen to hold up her hands, which she did. "They are blistering. Too much cold or too much heat causes the same damage. Strange, isn't it?"
Nasreen nodded silently.
"I will bring a salve from the kitchen the cooks use for treating burns, along with some bandages to help your hands heal and keep them from infection once the blisters break." The procuress looked at the floor next to Nasreen’s pallet. "I see your little friend left you some breakfast. You did not eat more than a mouthful last night, Nasreen. Have you broken your fast yet today?"
Nasreen shook her head no.
"I see. And how was your conversation with the Holy Mother?" asked the older woman.
Nasreen let out a little sob and shrugged.
The procuress' tone turned serious. "Nasreen. I am trying to help you. Do you think you are the first to suffer a broken heart because of the wiles of a man? Right now, your heart feels ripped from your chest, and what remains is a gaping emptiness that feels like it will never be whole again. We know man's love is fickle and fleeting. They are selfish creatures at heart. But you have a holy sisterhood here whose love is more than that of the flesh. You must eat, especially as you recover. The temple stores are running low. There has been word that the people of the city do not have enough food to last more than a fortnight. Do not let your friend's breakfast go uneaten because a handsome Narim led your heart somewhere it did not belong."
"I think I may be pregnant," whispered Nasreen with a sob.
The procuress looked around the room to see if anyone had heard what Nasreen just confessed before leaning closer to the young woman. "Do not say such things aloud, Nasreen."
"But what if I am?" Tears began to run down Nasreen's cheeks. "The Holy Mother says she will give me the herbs if I have not started my courses in the next three days."
"It is not a pregnancy. It cannot be." The procuress pulled her close, wrapping her in her arms. "The Lady made our bodies to stop bleeding during times of trouble. I saw this many times when I served as midwife for the temple women. Women would think they had fallen with child when their courses stopped during distressing times, but the bleeding would begin anew once the source of their distress was removed. I am sure this is what has happened, and not a true pregnancy. We have had none among the sisters here since the fall of the city to the Locusts."
"We have had none because the Holy Mother has her herbs, and no one can tell her no," said Nasreen. "You know this is true."
The procuress nodded. "Yes, it is true that she provides the means to know with certainty there will be no babies born in this dark time, which is for the best. When she brings you the herbs, Nasreen, you should take them with gratitude. Not gratitude that you will lose a baby, but thanks that your child will not be raised in this dark time."
Nasreen began to sob in earnest as the procuress held her.
"I want my mother," cried Nasreen. "I have not seen her in so long. But we cannot leave. I wanted to go there last night, but it would put them all in danger."
"I know, child. I know. We all miss those outside the temple walls," said the procuress.
"I thought Takri loved me," said Nasreen. "I thought he was good and loving. And I know if I am with child that it probably isn't his. How many men have visited me in the brothel since my last courses? More than I can recall. But what if that baby is all I have to remember the one moment I felt I held true holy love within me? How can I take the herbs?"
"You will take the herbs," said the procuress. "Because you must live."
"I already told the Holy Mother I would," said Nasreen. "I am only sad for what could have been. I am a daughter of the temple. Would my mother have done the same?"
"Your mother had a choice, when a choice was involved," said the procuress. "It was a different time. Safer. She knew you would grow up within the walls of the temple surrounded by wise women who loved you as they would love any child of the Goddess. The world has changed, and those same wise women who loved you when you were young know what is best for you now. Listen to the Holy Mother. She may be harsh, but the world we live in is harsher."
"I know," said Nasreen. "I just wish it were otherwise. If the Swarm never came, maybe it would be different. Takri would have come to the brothel to learn the ways of a man with a woman. If he wished it, he would leave the desert and we could raise a family together in safety here in Adyll."
"It is hard for a Narim man to give up the desert," said the procuress. "But Narim have done it for the love of an Adyllian woman. If times were different..."
Nasreen sighed heavily. "If times were different, my hands wouldn't hurt so much."
"If times were different, I wouldn't be asking you to eat cold porridge," said the procuress. "I pray daily that the Lady delivers us from the curse which lays upon this land."
Nasreen picked up the bowl Aisha left at her bedside and began to spoon the half-congealed liquid into her mouth.
"Good girl," said the procuress. "Keep eating. I will be back before nightfall with bandages and salve. Make sure to drink water. And I will check to see what we have in the brothel stores to strengthen your blood in case you need the Holy Mother's herbs in three days' time. I think we still have some dried kelp from the western sea somewhere. You may need it after your ordeal in the cold."
"Thank you for caring for me," said Nasreen.
"You make it easy to care, Nasreen," said the Procuress as she stood up from the bed. "I still thank the Goddess you returned from the palace alive. Let's do our best to keep you that way. I expect when I return that you finished that porridge. Your mother cannot be here. But I can. Now, go back to sleep, child of the temple."