Morning in the women's dormitory came too early after late night promises in front of the brothel's kitchen fire. Aisha and Nasreen woke to the sound of the women readying themselves for the day. Aisha pulled off her sleeping clothes to change into her workday robes, now made of wool instead of linen. And like every morning, she placed her undergarments at the foot of the bed for inspection by the Holy Mother and her Eyes.
Nasreen still lay abed, exhausted from the horrors of the previous day in the palace and her frozen night hiding in the shadows of the streets. Her entire body ached, and her fingers burned. Darkness shadowed the delicate skin beneath her eyes. The fire of rebellion sparked the night before had dimmed under the tremors of fever that wracked her body.
"I wish you felt better, Nasreen," said Aisha before dropping her voice to a whisper. "I found something else in the library while you were gone. Drawings of the temple and the palace as they were when they were first built. And some maps of the catacombs under the city."
Nasreen managed a small smile. "I can't wait to see them when I feel a bit better."
"I think it can help us escape," whispered Aisha. "Or find the river of tears and Thought."
"We can talk later," said Nasreen. "Once the Holy Mother finishes her inspection I am going to go back to sleep. I feel horrible."
"I hope she isn't awful to you," said Aisha. "You didn't do anything wrong!"
"If I look as bad as I feel, I am sure she will have mercy on me," said Nasreen through chattering teeth.
"Do you want me to bring you some food?" asked Aisha. "It's just thin porridge. It should be easy on your stomach. You hardly ate last night."
Nasreen swallowed hard and shook her head. "No, thank you. I am sure I will be hungry once I feel better."
"I will keep some of my rations back for you from breakfast, just in case you change your mind," said Aisha as she hurried off to get her morning portion of food. "Tell the Holy Mother where I am if she asks."
Nasreen nodded and managed to sit up on her pallet as the high priestess and the girl who served as her eyes stopped for inspection.
"There is no blood for the bookmaker Aisha," said the eyes.
"That is to be expected," said the Holy Mother. "And what of the prostitute, Nasreen? Is she here?"
"Yes, Holy Mother," said the eyes. "She appears to be stricken with fever and chills. She still lies abed."
"Is there blood?" asked the Holy Mother. "This would be her normal time of the month."
"She does not have her underclothes ready for inspection," said the eyes. "I fear she may be too ill to undress in this cold, Holy Mother."
"Help me to sit upon her pallet," said the old woman. Her guide obliged, helping her to the floor where Nasreen was wrapped in her blankets. The Holy Mother laid her hand upon Nasreen's forehead. "She is burning inside. Leave us, so that I may pray for her."
"As you wish," said the guide, excusing herself to join the other women by the fire.
"I am sorry," said Nasreen. "The procuress told me you would be angry with me."
"She did, did she? Your procuress is always ready to think the worst of her friend Dasha," said the Holy Mother. "I am not angry, Nasreen. But I am disappointed that you would put yourself in such danger by seducing the Narim Prince. It was foolish to give more than your body to him."
"He came to me," said Nasreen. "How can I refuse him? You tell us we must obey, and I did. I did not ask for his attentions."
The high priestess shook her head. "You do not understand these foreign men. Men, even our men, are run by the very basest of emotions. They are controlled by their desires. And these foreigners even more so. It falls upon us to curb those desires when they turn destructive.”
“My whole life, I wanted to serve as a vessel of the Goddess, just as my mother did,” explained Nasreen. “How am I to serve as prostitute of the temple and not incite desire?”
“I remember your mother when she served here,” said the old woman. “She had so much love and life inside her she burned like a signal fire. Women and men alike flocked to her like moths to a flame. She was desirable, and she desired pleasure, just like you. But here is the difference. You do not serve in a holy temple brothel as a vessel for the Goddess' healing love. You serve as a common whore. An object and plaything for men who are slaves to their bodily desires. Men who only want to control and hurt you. You cannot be like your mother while Adyll is under the rule of the Locusts."
Nasreen shivered under her blankets. "What can I do? I do not know how to change."
"Do you think the Lord Prince will call for you again?" asked the Holy Mother.
"I do not think he will," said Nasreen. "The strigoi-viu made it very plain that he found me lacking in every aspect. The Lord Prince Takri seemed to agree."
"I hope this is true," said the old woman. "We do not need any attention from Mahleck or any member of the royal house upon any of us here."
"What is to be my punishment?" said Nasreen through chattering teeth.
"I think you have been punished already," said the high priestess. "When you are well, we will talk again. Have your courses started yet?"
"No, Holy Mother."
"Do you think you could be with child?" asked the old woman, suddenly concerned. "In your line of work it is always a risk."
"No, Holy Mother," said Nasreen.
The old woman took Nasreen's hands in her own. "If you are pregnant, the risk to us all is too great. And if you are pregnant with the Lord Prince's child, Goddess help us all. Do you understand, daughter?"
"Yes, Holy Mother."
"Do not speak of this to anyone," said the old woman. "Not to the procuress, and especially not to Aisha. You have three days. If your courses have not begun by then, you will take the herbs, fever or no. Agreed?"
"They have a word for children born to playthings like me," said Nasreen. "They call them bastards. A slur for all those who are born fatherless. If I was with child, they would only hate me all the more."
The old woman's demeanor suddenly changed from one of concern to anger. "You underestimate the power to bear children, child. How men wish to control that ability. You are too young. You will take the herbs when the time comes. There is no other choice."
"Yes, Holy Mother."
"Good girl." The high priestess patted Nasreen's hand before pulling herself back upright with her staff. "I am glad we understand each other."
As the old woman hobbled away towards the fire and her eyes, Nasreen pulled the blankets tighter around her and let her tears fall where no one could see them. When Aisha returned with food, Nasreen was asleep dreaming of a life she could never have.