Five Hundred Fun Ways to Die

A game show competing for the most outlandish and brutal methods of death before a live studio audience, Five Hundred Fun Ways to Die began as an offshoot of a Sparnell Armed Forces campaign to combat a growing stigma against Conscription, until it took on a life of its own.

History

Originally orchestrated by Sparnell Fleet Command as a publicity stunt and means to desensitize Sparnelli citizens to the concepts of death and dying, Five Hundred Fun Ways to Die has taken on a life of its own. The original version of the show focused on deaths which might be encountered during service within the Sparnell Armed Forces, showing actual deaths and then interviewing the deceased both before and after their resurrection. Now in its sixty-third season the show has since morphed into a game show style presentation, with contestants pulled from the audience competing for the most spectacular on-camera deaths imaginable.

Execution

Citizens across Sparnell submit their names and genetic samples for a chance to serve as live audience members, with winners of the lottery receiving two tickets for a specific viewing of the show and a questionnaire on their interests, Family values, and death preferences. Members of the audience are then chosen as actual participants and contestants during the show, supposedly at random on the day of filming but in actuality the selection occurs at the same time as the original drawing, to allow time to grow the reconstruction clones required for resurrection afterwards.   The chosen few are then presented with one of the experiences from their list, either in front of the audience or with a film crew to holographically project their death into the studio if their chosen method cannot be adapted to the available studio space. Audience members will rank each death on a scale including such traits as the bravery of the contestant, their adherence to their Family values during the event, and the creativity of the method chosen. Winning Sparnell Families earn further fame and glory, while winning contestants are guaranteed a placement as a return contestant and co-host in the next episode.

Participants

The famed and beloved Host Selkirk Nero helms the popular show, with his superior officer Vice Admiral Vox providing support and logistics. Unfamiliar to most, Nero is still on active duty within the Sparnell Armed Forces, serving as a Lieutenant within Admiral Vox's PR machine.   In addition to the host, contestants, and audience members, Five Hundred Fun Ways to Die also employs a skilled filming crew, a full time Afterlife Planner to assist with the clones and resurrections, and an assortment of contractors to not only prepare each contestant's clone but also to prepare the wide variety of deaths planned for each episode.

Observance

A new episode is filmed once a month for eight months, to allow time for the cloning process. Each episode airs a month after it was filmed, to allow for editing and additional interviews with contestants and their Families. The off-months between seasons are used to compile the lottery of hopeful contestants, organize the requested death methods for the selected few, and tour Confederation territory with meet and greets involving past contestants – both favorites and least favorites – to aid publicity.
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Fri, May 13th 2022 08:20   Edited on Tue, May 31st 2022 05:17

Season 64 Sign-ups: Five Hundred Fun Ways to Die!

It's that time again! Season 64 Sign Ups for Five Hundred Fun Ways to Die is open! Keep reading for details!

 
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Cover image: Planet Moon Solar by LoganArt

Comments

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Dec 7, 2021 11:35 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

This is both amazing and horrifying. XD

Emy x
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Dec 7, 2021 11:40 by Simo

It's ok, they're going to be resurrected! XD

Dec 7, 2021 12:57 by Morgan Biscup

Plus it's fun! It says so right in the title!

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Dec 7, 2021 13:59 by Laurabones

Brilliant!!

Dec 7, 2021 15:23 by Morgan Biscup

Thanks!

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Dec 8, 2021 18:02 by Amélie I. S. Debruyne

This is a fascinating concept and really horrifying XD Is there ever accidents where the cloning doesn't happen smoothly and the participants cannot properly "resurrect"?   People would be resurrected with full memory of their death, right? So I don't imagine a whole lot of them want to get through torture... unless this could give them more point and a chance at winning the prize? Do people attempt to do crazy stuff beyond their own comfort and desire because they are desperate to win?

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Dec 8, 2021 18:39 by Morgan Biscup

So with the reconstruction clones, they need to have enough of certain parts of the individual's original genetics for the body's immune system to recognize them, otherwise it will try and reject them. Usually this means the body pulls itself apart, although if kept that way long term it could damage the soul instead. This is easily fixed by growing a new clone with the genetics corrected though.   And yes, they have full memories of their life, their death, and their Afterlife until the resurrection. Some people are desperate to win, though, and bravery usually gets big points.

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Dec 12, 2021 07:33 by Stormbril

Oh my god this is horrifically brutal and amazing Solar, it makes so much sense in this universe you've created and is yet so unexpected xD   I love it so much, well done :D <3

Dec 12, 2021 12:36 by Morgan Biscup

Thank you so much! That's high praise!

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Dec 12, 2021 07:34

I'll pick 289!   You know I'm a sucker for this kind of game show <3 :D AWesome!


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Dec 12, 2021 12:35 by Morgan Biscup

I will admit I felt a bit like I was writing for Megacorpolis when I wrote it.

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Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Dec 13, 2021 17:54 by Soulwing

A brutal and fascinating game show. I guess when the methods of resurrection are present life itself becomes a game that can be put on show.

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Dec 13, 2021 18:25 by Morgan Biscup

Pretty much. Especially when the Confederation is involved.

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Jan 7, 2022 01:44

Oh boy this is such a thing that I can TOTALLY imagine happening in a place where resurrection clones are a thing. Also, as you said, it made me think of Megacorpolis a lot hahaha   Could people with physical issues use this show as an excuse to get a free resurrection with a physically able body?

Jan 7, 2022 03:42 by Morgan Biscup

There are probably some who use it that way, or to make other alterations provided the Family leadership approves. While they do need to keep certain genetics the same there is still a lot of leeway.   Medical care in the Confederation is also pretty decent though too. The job itself is not considered an opportunity for honor and glory, but notable accomplishments in the field are and so there is a constant push for advancement.

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Jan 12, 2022 18:02

Oh my quite a bizarre thing to do in creating a show, but the idea is quite intriguing, to say the least. I can see why it is popular and the cultural dynamics that come with it are nice additions as well. Good job!

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Jan 13, 2022 17:12 by Morgan Biscup

It's only death, it'll be fiiiiine.

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Jan 16, 2022 16:03 by E. Christopher Clark

I know it's probably sick that I want to see an episode of this show now, but I do!   Fantastic work here, and so much potential for plot hooks and character backstory.

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Jan 17, 2022 03:44 by Morgan Biscup

Thanks! This came from a throw away line I might not even use in my current novel, but I am so glad I took the time to write it up. I will definitely have to use it elsewhere.

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Feb 9, 2022 18:27

And now I have that Train song in my head. lol Fun read

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Feb 9, 2022 18:48 by Morgan Biscup

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed! (I don't believe I am familiar with this Train song, though? Hopefully it's a good one!)

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Feb 9, 2022 19:10

mwhahaha

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Feb 10, 2022 01:38 by Morgan Biscup

Hahahahahahaha!

Lead Author of Vazdimet.
Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
Apr 19, 2022 22:06 by Aster Blackwell

I think the most terrifying thing about this is that I could totally see this happening if the real world ever reached this level of technology.

Apr 19, 2022 23:02 by Morgan Biscup

Oh I agree. I definitely see people watching this - or signing up to compete for the thrill and the ten minutes of fame.   Speaking of... I should put up the sign-up application in the Discussion Board.

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Necromancy is a Wholesome Science.
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