3yo (eating a lollipop): It's so licky!
Me (holding a small eggshell): Look! A bluebird hatched from this egg. Be careful, you could break it easily.
3yo (grabbing the egg and crushing it in her fist): You're right! I did!
Me: Okay, let me tie that off for you.
3yo: No, Mommy! Tie it on!
3yo: I want to watch Mickey and the Clubhouse!
Me: Okay, I will put it on.
3yo: You are a good putter onner, Mommy. Good job!
Me: My stomach hurts. And it's a little tough to breathe.
3yo: I will breath for you!
*Grabs my face and exhales the full contents of her lungs in my mouth.*
3yo: I saved you!
3yo: Baby sister is done nursing now!
Me: No, she's not.
1yo: *Stops nursing and starts wailing because she heard the word 'no'.*
3yo: See! I was right!
3yo: Mommy pooped on the potty! They do that sometimes.
Husband: Daddies poop on the potty sometimes, too.
3yo: Wow. You guys are serious.