Time to Pay the Bills

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The screen remained black briefly as the commercial break started, but color and light quickly erupted on the screen. The colors and light swirled in the middle, before gathering on the edges and leaving a shimmering pool in the middle. As the colors stabilized, the camera pulled back, showing the swirling colors had formed on a bright day in Central Park, with scores of people running away from it and a gaggle of reporters and squad of police running towards it. The police drew their guns and the reporters drew their cameras or microphones as everyone focused on the swirling colors.

The shimmering pool of light was pierced from within, as a mottled green protuberance appeared about three feet off the ground. It was clearly a nose of some sort, as what had to be nostrils flared, but it wasn't a nose that fit any human face. After a long beat, a face came through, quickly followed by the rest of the creature. The camera stayed tight on the face at first, perhaps showing off the quality of the skin animation which looked incredibly realistic if the color had been anything found in nature. The nose, pointed and protruding a full three inches out from the face, had enormous nostrils and several moles with wiry black hair poking out of both. The face was scarred and pitted, with oversized eyes and a wide mouth filled with sharp, yellowed teeth. It made a guttural noise, although in no known language.

The police raised their weapons, while the reporters fell back. The creature continued to push through, revealing itself to be around three feet tall, with bumpy, mottled skin barely covered by torn and ratty clothes. It carried a leather pouch, which it raised in the direction of the police. As they shouted for the creature to drop the weapon and get down on the ground, the smooth voice of Jeff Goldblum broke in, saying, "Hey now, they're just looking for a place to rent!"

The reporters cleared away, and Goldblum walked to center screen and stood next to the police sergeant. The sergeant glared at Goldblum, but the actor ignored him, walking forward to the portal. "Welcome to the Big Apple, friends - let's see what we can do for you."

The rest of the police looked at each other in confusion, some lowering their weapons, some keeping them on the little green man, and one pointing his directly at the actor. The cop next to him reached out and grabbed his shoulder, and those with their TVs up loud enough could hear him say, "Are you nuts? That's Jeff Goldblum!"

Goldblum chuckled briefly, and continued talking to the green man. "I'm Brad Bellflower, and if you are here looking for a place to call home, let me show you Apartments.com," he said, holding out his phone opened to an app. "If it's just you, there's a lovely little studio up in, uh, Bed-Stuy that would be perfect."

The green man held out the bag, and 'Bellflower' took it. His hand dropped from the surprising weight, but he recovered quickly and opened it. He looked in and his eyes and grin both widened, and as he handed the bag back to the man said, "I think we should be showing you someplace in Hudson Yards, what do you think?" The little man nodded, and Bellflower clapped him on the back. "Let's, uh, let's do this!" The two turned and began to walk through the crowd of police and reporters. The police seemed lost, and the reporters started shouting questions, ranging from the mildly on-topic, "What's in the bag?" to the offensive, "What is that thing?"

As they walked, Bellflower glanced over his shoulder to note the flood of similar beings following out of the shimmering pool. He looked back into the camera and said, "Apartments.com, the place to find a place... for everyone." As the screen faded back to black, the police and reporters in the crowd could be seen running from the flood of new residents making their way into town.

The screen cut in, showing the steps to a basement tavern, with three young men racing each other to the door. The men seemed created by AI or central casting to be the avatars of the ideal beer drinkers - one Black, one white, one Japanese, all athletic and wearing generic sports jerseys - football, basketball, and soccer all covered. They playfully grabbed and shoved each other on their way to the door, arriving all together when all was said and done. As they pushed their way in, they were smiling and laughing, reenacting plays from the previous night's game.

The tavern they entered was clean and mostly empty early in the day, and absolutely dominated by the huge rectangular bar in the center of the room. Tables were scattered about, providing plenty of seating, but the few people there were at the many stools ringing the bar. The newcomers waved to two women seated at the far end, and they raised their glasses high in return. They gathered together, and the first through the door raised three fingers at the bartender. The aging gentleman behind the bar nodded at them, setting up three glasses and quickly filling them one after the other. The camera lingered on the tap as he did so, and the logo of "Deep Shaft Ale" could be seen clearly - a couple of dwarfs right out of a fantasy movie, leaning on pick axes as they clinked their mugs of ale together. The mugs the bartender poured came out looking exactly like those in the dwarf's hands, and he slid each one down the bar to rest in front of the men without a single drop spilled.

Before the men could even take a taste, the front door swung open again, followed by a strong wind that hadn't followed in the first group. The camera focused on the door, to watch as half a dozen hulking brutes pushed in. Their skin was grey and rough, and their coarse black hair was barely tamed by large amounts of styling gel. Small tusks protruded from their lower lips, and their porcine noses would be better called snouts. They each wore engineer boots, blue jeans, and black leather jackets, and as the camera swung around to follow them to the bar, the viewer could see the metal studs in the jackets spelling out "Wild Hogs" above "Reared for Slaughter".

The Wild Hogs ignored the bartender and headed directly for the group drinking at the end. The other patrons slunk out of the way, trying to avoid drawing attention, but the avatars of beer did not. They continued drinking and talking, ignoring the presence of the interlopers. As the Wild Hogs surrounded them, however, ignoring became impossible.

The five of them each turned to look at the Hogs, who had somehow come up with knives and chains and looked ready to use them. The Black man stepped forward, mug in hand, spreading his arms wide in a gesture of conciliation. When the Hogs brandished their various weapons, the man held one hand up in a gesture to hold on, draining his mug dry with the other. The Hogs seemed shocked by his temerity, but held off starting a fight all the same.

The man finished his beer in one pull, and sighed heavily with pleasure. He then signaled the bartender, raising four fingers, then turning his hand and raising three more. The bartender nodded nervously, but began setting up the drinks. He slid the first two done down together, one stopping right in front of the man, the other in front of the leader of the Hogs. The leader of the Hogs looked down in surprise, and the man picked up his while gesturing for the Hog to do the same. He did, and sniffed at it suspiciously. A smile spread across his face, and the man and Hog clinked glasses before tilting them back. The Hog drained his dry as his followers watched. When he slammed the mug down on the bar and grinned, the others grabbed theirs and began to noisily drain their own.

All three of the men surrounded the leader of the Hogs, slapping him on his back and shaking his hand. Within moments, the Hogs dispersed themselves around the bar, and the leader of the Hogs leaned toward the bartender and raised both hands, all fingers in the air. The bartender started, then looked closely, realizing the Hog had six fingers on his left hand, and five plus a stump on his right. He got down eleven mugs, and the Hog smiled before turning back to the others.

As everyone was served, the logo for "Deep Shaft Ale" appeared on screen. A company tagline faded in beneath it - "Deep Shaft. So good, even the orcs get it."

The previous commercial faded to black, remaining dark for a long second before color returned to the screen. Shades of green dominated as an idyllic forest came into view. The deep purplish green of red maple mixed with the dark green of pine needles and the vibrant green of the huckleberry bushes. The bushes provided bursts of color from red, blue, or black berries drooping from the branches.

The camera lingered on the scene for a brief second, long enough for a deer to lift its head and stare at the camera, seeming to materialize in place from how well its natural colors camouflaged it. A spark of fear flashed through its eyes, and as its body coiled to move, the screen flashed, going dark before immediately coming back to another scene in the forest.

The screen was back, focused on another part of the forest. The light that sifted through the canopy to dimly illuminate the forest caught a metallic edge and gleamed, revealing an arrowhead protruding from a stand of bushes. The camera shifted just enough that the viewer could follow the arrow to the bow and catch a glimpse of its wielder. A dark-skinned hand held the bow, though the rest of the wielder was obscured by a cloak in a dozen shades of green, breaking up their outline and hiding them as well as any camouflage the military had developed. The arrowhead tracked across the screen, following its prey, and the screen flashed dark again.

The camera settled back in on the deer as it sprang away, bounding over logs and bushes as it fled in a panic. The first hints of noise began, wood splintering against a crushing blow. Small animals fled across the screen, following the path the deer had blazed as they moved with the speed imparted by terror. As the noise of falling trees and charging animals built to a crescendo, the trees in the middle of the screen were pushed aside and down, crushed under the massive form that burst into the clearing.

The terrifying beast charged full speed through the tree line, moving too fast to be seen clearly. At first, it was nothing more than a 15-foot-tall blur of leathery skin, claws, and teeth, bursting from the trees and barreling after the deer with the force of a locomotive. It would have cleared the screen in a flash, leaving a mystery of what it was in its wake, but for the arrow that moved faster. The beast was in mid-leap when the black shaft of the arrow streaked towards its eye. The camera followed the flight in, the eye growing on the screen, promising a gruesome collision to the viewers.

Before it could, the massive, clawed hand of the beast thrust into the path of the arrow. The arrow sank deep into the claw, and the creature stopped, framed perfectly in the center of the screen. It twisted to follow the arrow's path, lowering its head as it turned. The movement showcased its entire body for the audience at home – 15 feet tall when upright, and 25 feet or more from its nose to the tip of its tail. The leathery skin was shades of green and brown, perfect for blending in with the forest around it. Its tail was at least six feet long, although its constant motion made it difficult to get a better guess. It swung back and forth quickly, providing for balance as it ran. It was thick and strong near the base, but more whip-like near the end and capped off with a sharp point of keratin.

The keratin-tipped tail would serve the beast as a weapon, although it didn’t seem to need it. Its head was wide and flat, with horns curving forward from the top of its head for delivering crushing blows. Its jaw was wide and filled with rows of sharp teeth made for rending flesh. It ran on its back legs, leaving its front legs free for grasping its prey with ten-inch-long claws on massive, hand-like paws. The arrow that struck the beast had hit one of those claws, cracking the keratin but not even drawing blood.

The creature sniffed at the arrow, then sniffed at the air, finally turning directly towards the camera. It spread its arms wide, showing its massive chest and the full span of its long arms, and howled a deep reverberating call. It lowered its head, thrusting the thick horns forward, and took off in a crouch. The camera fled ahead of it, keeping the beast's maw centered as trees were broken and flung to the side from its momentum. Faster than could register, arrows started to bounce off its thick hide, doing little of note until one skipped off a horn and lodged in the corner of the beast’s eye. It howled but kept moving, and as it practically threw a thirty-foot pine out of his way, the screen flashed again.

The camera settled on the same hand on the bow, but now the wielder could be seen. Tall and lanky, with coffee black skin, the archer had pointed ears and almond-shaped eyes, visible now that their hood had fallen to rest at their neck. Their hands were a blur as they drew and fired, several being launched with every second. She drew a final arrow from her quiver and pivoted, launching it at a nearby tree. As the arrow flew to its target, the archer dropped prone, rolling off screen.

The arrow slammed into a hidden plank, knocking it from the branch it had rested on and bringing a curtain of woven vines collapsing to the forest floor. As the curtain fell, it revealed the trap – several more archers, two warriors mounted on a pair of elk that stood taller than a Clydesdale, and a tall, moss-covered humanoid. The archers immediately unleashed arrows at the beast, while the mounted warriors spurred the elk into action. The moss-covered being began a chant, beginning to sway in rhythm as the camera flashed again.

Back on the beast, with the arrows coming in faster. The beast struggled against them, swatting most out of the air, but others began to find more purchase in the creature’s thick skin. As it twisted and turned to avoid the stinging bolts, the mounted warriors made contact. They crashed through the underbrush, the elk weaving as well as they could at top speed, and the cracking of branches had been as loud as when the beast approached. The warriors speared the beast with long sharpened stakes, riding past to avoid counterattacks and to prepare for the next run. The first warrior’s spear fell to the ground as the beast twisted, but the second had been driven deep into its side, and the beast’s dark blood began to flow freely.

The mounted warriors had circled and were coming back at the beast when it turned on them and charged. The first warrior used the elk’s antlers to hold his spear level as he charged, while the second raised his to throw. The first closed, and as he thrust at the beast, it shifted direction suddenly, avoiding the spear and quickly closing the gap with the second. The creature’s claw struck deep, and the elk’s side ripped open. Blood spurted from the mount, drenching the beast, and mount and warrior fell together in a pile of blood and guts. Arrows continued to rain down on the beast, but its back was to the archers and its thick hide was more than the arrows could pierce.

The creature shouted again, this time in triumph. It slammed both claws down on the writhing pile that was the warrior and his dying mount, and the struggling stopped. The beast began to run as it raised its prey, warrior in one claw and elk in the other, its hunt successful. The other mounted warrior swung around to pursue, but the beast's speed would soon leave the elk behind.

A flash, and the moss-covered figure was back in frame. The archers lowered their bows, recognizing it was out of their hands, and watched. The figure’s chant was reaching a crescendo, its movement faster and more frenetic. With a final cry, it lifted its arms to the forest canopy, and the forest responded.

Flash, and back to the beast. Branches began to visibly grow, stretching across the beast’s path. Vines began to writhe and stretch, grasping at the beast’s feet. The beast tried to crash through the inosculated branches, but they were much stronger than before, and it was turned aside. It dropped its food, focusing on escaping to live to eat another day. It swiped at the grasping vines, its sharp claws cutting through them with ease, but more kept coming.

The beast thrashed about, eyes wide and rolling in its head, as it looked desperately for a way out. The vines continued to rise, wrapping around its powerful legs and preventing it from moving. It desperately clawed, and the vines began to turn dark red with the creature’s blood. It fell, finally, and the sound of its crash echoed across the forest. The elk warrior rode past, the vines ignoring him and his mount, and he stabbed down, leaving another spear in the creature's back.

It continued to struggle against the vines for a few moments longer, but it was already too weak to escape. As the struggle stopped, the elk warrior approached, leaping off his beast and drawing a long, obsidian blade. The shard had a simple leather wrap around one end, and the warrior gripped the leather hard as he knelt over the mound of vines that had ensnared the beast. He began to saw with the blade, below the camera’s frame, grunting at the effort.

A few long moments passed as the camera remained on the warrior, showing the effort on his face. Finally, long past the point that a decent editor would have ended the scene, he cried in triumph and lifted the beasts head high. The archers shouted in unison, a short phrase in an unknown language, and the warrior shouted back. The camera swung behind him as he returned to the archers, fading to black as he met them with the trophy held high.

As the image faded, a single word faded in. The font was delicate and sweeping, calling to mind ancient runes carved into delicate architecture. The word, "Evermorn", was verdant green against the black, with a small light like a sun rising beneath the "o". The light rose up, burning brighter until it covered the "o" completely, then a final bright flash, and everything returned to darkness.

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