Chapter 18: Price of Freedom

Overturned chairs lay scattered around the yard like fallen leaves, some smashed into splinters from the panicked crowd. The feast that was meant for after the ceremony had been strewn around, trampled, and left to rot. Only the archway remained standing, overlooking the carnage of discarded food and broken furniture. A tense silence hung over the area despite the humans cleaning up the mess of yesterday’s panic. Some she recognized from Master Aaron’s staff, others she had never seen before. Not that she cared.

Everyone ignored Aeris as she stood under the archway where she was supposed to be wed. The corpse of her now ex-future husband still lay on the ground, the grass surrounding his remains stiff with dried blood. The cloud of flies on his corpse buzzed around her as if to deter her, but she refused to move. The cloak she lay over his body fluttered in the weak breeze. Occasionally it lifted for a moment, providing a view of what lay beneath it.

Aeris didn’t turn away from the grotesque sight. She needed to see it. See the consequences of her actions. Learn first-hand the price that was to be paid for her insolence and ignorance.

I was such a fool, she thought. Reks, please forgive me.

Her master’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “Aeris, what are you doing out here?”

Without turning to her master, she replied in a deadpan tone, “Reks is still out here.”

“Yes, it’s a shame, but there are more pressing matters to attend to.”

“More important than seeing to it he gets a proper burial?” Aeris asked, her temper rising.

“I…Aeris, please,” Master Aaron said, his tone giving away his vexation. “One thing at a time. I promise Reks will be taken care of once we finish with—”

“You will take care of it now!”

The silence became heavier after her outburst. Everyone had stopped their activities and their eyes were on her—she sensed it but didn’t care. She dug her claws into the grass, her eyes still fixed on the lifeless lump beneath her cloak. The one no one else seemed to give a damn about.

“Okay, Aeris. I will have someone bury him right away,” Master Aaron said, his voice cautious.

“Where is Mr. Bachmann?” Aeris asked.

The sound of Master Aaron’s footsteps stopped. “Zachery…has gone home. He won’t be returning.”

Aeris said nothing. There was nothing to say. It didn’t surprise her that Reks was being thrown away like a broken tool beyond repair, but the thought still infuriated her.

True to his word, three large men came over and dragged Rek’s body away. It was then Aeris chose to move from where she had sat for so long, forcing her limbs to move despite the numbness and awkward movements. With nowhere else to go, she went back to her room.

Maggie and Lilith still lay asleep on the mattress as Aeris had left them. Aeris grabbed her cloak and She chose to curl up in the far corner of the room, but not to sleep. She hadn’t slept at all last night, but there was too much on her mind to even think about sleeping.

A sudden knock at the door made Aeris lift her head and woke up the two women sleeping on her mattress. They both whirled around, wearing the same sleepy, confused expression then jumped upon seeing the other next to them. Any other time Aeris would’ve found such a sight funny.

Without waiting for a reply, the door opened and Helen stepped inside. Her face paled at the sight of Maggie and Lilith sitting on the mattress.

“She’s over there,” Maggie said, pointing at Aeris in the corner.

Helen spun around and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, Aeris, I’m so glad to see you’re okay. Word has already spread of what happened, and Lady Aubrey is beside herself with worry. She’ll rest much easier knowing you’re all right.” She looked around, her smile fading. “Is Reks not here?”

Aeris stared at the floor.

“I…I see,” Helen said. “Aeris, I’m sorry, but I can’t stay long. I only came so that I may inform Lady Aubrey of your condition and to deliver a message if you were all right.” She straightened up and took a deep breath, her expression giving away that she didn’t want to deliver the message. “For the time being, she thinks it’s best if you don’t come by her mansion.”

“What?” Maggie asked. “How could she say such a thing? And at a time like this?”

"It precisely because of this why Lady Aubrey wants to maintain her distance," Helen replied coolly. "Whoever is responsible for the attack clearly didn't want to harm Aeris. If it was meant to be a warning, then we should avoid doing anything to agitate them further."

Maggie folded her arms across her chest but said nothing. The annoyed expression on her face showed she agreed with Helen's reasoning, but didn't like it.

Aeris didn’t care. She had already lost Reks, and now she was losing Aubrey.

“I never met this Lady Aubrey, but she certainly has a good mind for this sort of business,” Lilith said. “All of this unpleasantness could’ve been a ploy to draw out Aeris’ allies, so staying away is very smart indeed. Let them think they’ve won for now while you regroup.”

Helen nodded to Lilith then turned back to Aeris. “I’m glad to see you’re all right, and I’m so sorry about Reks. Just hang in there, okay? I’ll return to tell you when it’s safe to see Lady Aubrey again.”

Aeris remained silent as she watched Helen leave.  Lilith followed after Helen, leaving Aeris and Maggie alone.

Maggie played with the hem of her blouse and refused to make eye-contact. “I—”

 "Could you leave, please? I want to be alone for a bit." Her words hurt Maggie. She saw it in the woman's face, but she couldn't stand being looked at with such pity. The same look others often gave her. The guilt already ate her alive inside.

 Aeris waited a few minutes after Maggie left before poking her head out of her room. She wanted to go see Cutter. If anyone had information on Reks' murderer, it would be her. There were still too many people around. No way to leave the estate without being seen. Under normal circumstances, it would be a problem, but after what just happened, Master Aaron would never let her leave.

She returned to the corner to wait until the humans left. Even if it meant traveling at night, something she was warned not to do, she was going to see Cutter and get to the bottom of this.

The door slowly opened. Her back was to the door, so she didn't see who came in nor did she care. A distinct clicking sound sent a chill through her body. It was the sound of the hammer being pulled back on a rifle. A sound she knew all too well and would never forget.

Slowly, Aeris looked behind her. Charles stood by the door, a rifle held tightly in his gnarled hands. “I made a promise, but I’m afraid you’re a threat to us all.” his voice was calm and firm, but it carried an undertone of…regret? Aeris wasn’t sure. Her mind was too focused on the gun pointed at her. “Your actions have put Lord Strauss in their crosshairs, and that can very well get him killed.”

Aeris couldn’t reply. Her mind was blank on ideas for how to get out of this situation. In her current position, there was no way to disarm him or even move without getting shot.

“Nothing to say in your defense, dragon?” Charles said. “You don’t even know what you are.”

“I-I’m an Ardelle C-Celestial.”

Charles’ eyes widened. “So she told you. Damn that dragon.” He said the last part more to himself.

Aeris stood up, ignoring the danger of her situation. “What? So you knew what I was and didn’t tell me?”

“I asked Cutter to identify you, yes. But I chose not to inform Lord Strauss. The less he knows about you the better,” He raised the rifle again and his gaze hardened. “I still don’t understand why Arthur saw fit to save you. He should’ve smashed your egg when he had the chance.”

“Do you really hate me that much?”

“Hate? No, I don’t hate you. I pity you for being born into the cursed bloodline. The dragons were right to wipe your kind out centuries ago. Had they not done so, humanity would never have survived.”

His words made little sense to Aeris. Cutter had already told her about what the Ardelle Celestials did in the past and why the other dragons thought it best to wipe them out. But that wasn’t her. She wasn’t arrogant and had no desire to rule over anyone.

So why am I always being judged for something I had no part in? she wondered. The pounding of her heartbeat loud in her ears. Her legs trembled with fear.

“Lord Strauss will hate me for this, but one day, he may come to forgive me,” Charles said.

 The window shattered. Charles spun toward the broken glass, firing a shot either in surprise or to deter whatever threatened him. Aeris seized the opening to rush the human, slamming her body into his. He flew into the door and fell to the ground like a ragdoll. The rifle flew from his hands and landed on the ground several feet away.

Aeris planted herself between Charles and the gun, but the old man made no attempt to retrieve it or get up. Laying on the ground, he looked exactly like a broken and beaten old man, no longer a threat to anyone.

The door burst open and Maggie rushed inside. “Aeris! Are you all right?” She turned to Charles who still lay on the floor. “After all that’s happened, you really would pull a stunt such as this?”

 "You are a fool, Margret," Charles said. He slowly stood. His front was covered in dirt, but he did not attempt to brush it off. "You know what she's capable of better than anyone. Should she decide to turn on us, there will be no stopping her."

Maggie walked over to Aeris and glared at the old man. “If you’re so afraid of what she’ll do, perhaps don’t give her a reason to turn on you.” She said her next words so venomously, Aeris stepped away from the woman. “Now get out. If you ever come anywhere near her again, I’ll kill you myself.”

Charles looked unbothered by the threat, his usual cool composure returned. He turned on his heel and left the room. Just before the door closed, he added, “When she sets this world ablaze, it’ll be on your head, Margret.”

Maggie snorted angrily and turned to Aeris. “Are you all right?”

“What if what he said is true? What if I—”

“No. I won’t have you talking that way,” Maggie interjected firmly. She grabbed Aeris by the face. “Do you understand me? You have done nothing wrong, and no one gets to decide whether you deserve to live or not.”

Aeris nodded, but only to calm Maggie down. There was some truth to Charles’ words. She was a threat to others. It was a lesson she was glad to have learned early.

It took a month for Helen to return and tell Aeris it was safe to see Aubrey again. The weather had turned much colder as autumn was in full swing. Most trees around the estate had lost their leaves already, the others crowned in gold and red.

During that time, Aeris never got the chance to see Cutter like she wanted. Master Aaron had placed a guard outside Aeris’ room; a large man who never spoke to her. She never even learned his name. She couldn’t leave her room without an escort. No one except Master Aaron was allowed inside without permission.

It was very annoying, but Aeris didn't have much time to focus on it. Most mornings she felt sick and didn't want to see anyone anyway. The biggest change was her appetite. She didn't want to eat, but she always seemed hungry. Thanks to her new restricted schedule, it was easy to keep it a secret from the others. The last thing she wanted was to worry them further. There was no keeping it from Maggie, however. The woman told her it was stress eating, and she should slow down as she was starting to put on weight. Aeris couldn't care less about her figure.

There had been no other attempts on Aeris's life by Charles or anyone else. According to Maggie, news of Reks' assassination at the wedding had spread like wildfire and things had become even tenser between the human and dragon communities. There had been a slow, but steady rise of disappearances of both parties. Aeris was consumed with guilt at how her naivete caused the chain of events.

But Aeris was still glad to see Helen again. Despite the setback, she still wanted to continue teaching the other dragons to read. They were counting on her, looking to her for help, and she couldn’t afford to let them down.

Sneaking out was the hardest part. After convincing Lilith she would be fine on her own, the woman agreed to distract the guard, however, Aeris was on her own for getting back. Instead of keeping her word, Aeris was distracted the entire trip there. After so many times walking that path with Reks, it felt strange to be back at it alone. As usual, her trip was quiet and uneventful.

Helen greeted Aeris at the door as always and led her to the common room where Aubrey awaited her. Aeris thought it was an odd place to hold their next meeting as she told Helen to inform the other dragons they were meeting today. To Aeris’ surprise, Aubrey was the only dragon in the room.

“What’s going on?” Aeris asked. “Where is everyone?”

“They’re not coming,” Aubrey said, annoyed. “Reks’ murder made it very clear to them how the humans handle disobedience. They’re too frightened to so much as sneeze without permission.”

“Although that one dragon did come by,” Helen said. “I think his name was Lanry. He wanted to wait for you, but Lady Aubrey sent him home.”

 "Because he's a fool, and we won't lose any more dragons to such childish notions."

“I don’t understand,” Aeris said.

Aubrey sighed heavily and turned to Aeris. “I mean, we’re done with this reading business. I should’ve trusted my instincts and stopped you sooner. It was too soon.”

“But you can’t!” Aeris cried. “Reks is dead because of this. If I stop now, he’ll have died for nothing.”

“And do you honestly think the humans will allow that?” Aubrey shot back. “I want to help the domesticates as well, but as I told you before, we cannot be reckless.”

 "Then we'll do it in secret," Aeris said. She tried to hide her annoyance, but her claws scraped against the wood floor. "We'll teach them in smaller groups. Why do we have to stop entirely? Are you going to let the humans scare you?"

Aubrey snarled and stood. “Watch yourself, Aeris. I have put up with your foolishness and your dependency on that human, but I will not have you calling me a coward. I have been at this far longer than you and I know better than anyone how this game is played.”

Aeris stood her ground and stared back. “You always told me, to stand up for myself, but now the time has come for me to do that, and you tell me I can’t.”

“Oh, grow up,” Aubrey spat. “Do you honestly believe that you can do whatever you want and there will be no consequences? Even if you were the Matriarch of a clan you wouldn’t have that luxury.”

“I don’t care about Matriarch’s and I don’t care about the clans! All I care about is honoring Reks’ memory and helping those dragons who are depending on me! If you won’t help me, I’ll do it myself. I don’t need you!”

Aubrey balked at the outburst. “What did you say to me?”

“Everyone please,” Helen said quickly. “Emotions are a little high because of what happened and the loss of Reks is very unfortunate—”

“You stay out of this,” Aubrey said. Her voice was calm without carrying a hint of harm, but Helen still immediately fell silent. Aubrey continued to stare at Aeris, her eyes full of contempt. “I made you. You were nothing but a submissive excuse of a dragon until you met me. You would be dead now if it weren’t for me. But you don’t need me anymore?” She scoffed and chuckled humorlessly before turning her back, and with a haughty swish of her tail added, “You want to play at being a Matriarch? Fine, go. Go and play your childish games at being the hero then return to your ‘master’ and lick at his boots. Go and tell those dragons to defy their caretakers while you lift your tail when it suits the whims of that man and pretend you still have self-respect.” She shot a dark glare over her shoulder. “But when you’re world comes crashing down around you, when you finally see you’re nothing more than a plaything to your caretaker, don’t come crying to me. My home is only open to real dragons.”

Without a word, Aeris stormed out of the mansion. She didn’t need Aubrey. She would help the dragons herself.

 Instead of going home, she went straight to Cutter's. If nothing else, Cutter would be able to help her find a new place to teach the other dragons. Also, Cutter had that large information network, and she offered to help any way she could. It seemed so obvious before that she wondered why she never bothered to think of it sooner.

Aeris hadn’t taken her cloak with her, but she didn’t care. She had traveled the city so much, she knew most of the back alley routes the humans used to reach the brothel unseen. Once there, she went straight to the room in the back without stopping.

Cutter was alone and looked very surprised to see Aeris. “Snowflake? What are you doing here? I thought after the wedding, you would be keeping your head down.”

“I am,” Aeris said. “I need your help. Most of the dragons I was teaching are too afraid to keep going now. I need you to help me convince them to come out of hiding. I also want you to help me find Reks’ killer.”

“Wow. Straight to business, huh? I kinda like it. You’re finally showing some spine.” Her smile fell. “But about Reks’ killer…It was my fault. I hired the man who shot him.”

The air rushed out of Aeris’ lungs. After several failed attempts to draw breath, she managed to whisper, “It…It was…you?”

“Sorry, Snowflake. I had to.”

“You had to?”

“Y’see, you drew more attention than I thought. The wrong people were finding out about you, and I had to take the pressure off somehow. You were the intended target. They hired the master of your future husband to deal with your ass. You must’ve seriously pissed him off because he didn’t hesitate to take the job.”

Aeris shook her head even though she knew the gesture was meaningless. “What are you talking about? How could killing Reks possibly save me?”

“Even if I stopped the assassin, they would just hire another,” Cutter replied calmly. “My only option was to scare the dragons off and make the humans think they had beaten you. To do that, someone had to die.” She scratched the back of her neck and continued in the same calm manner. “I already promised to look after you. Aubrey still has her uses, so it came down to Reks. With him dead and your group scattered, the contract for your life was canceled.”

Aeris fell on her rear. “Why? Why would you do that? Couldn’t you have found another way?”

Cutter tilted her head and frowned. “Snowflake, what the fuck do you think we’re doing here? This isn’t a game. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices.”

“But now the other dragons are too afraid to come back for the reading lessons.”

“And what do you think was gonna happen if you died?” Cutter asked. “Those dragons didn’t go for Reks, they came for you. If something had happened to you, it would’ve done much more damage. At least this way, you can rebuild.”

“I don’t care about rebuilding! What’s the point of all this if dragons are dying for it?”

Cutter sighed heavily and gave a somber shake of her head. “Snowflake, I thought you understood, but I guess I was wrong. You can’t get around that shit, y’know. Sacrifices will have to be made, especially if you’re gonna go around pissing people off.”

“But-but…” Aeris couldn’t find the words to argue Cutter’s logic. The tightness in her chest returned. “No! Why didn’t you find another way?”

“You make it sound as if I wanted to kill him.”

“Maybe you did.”

Cutter laughed then quickly stopped, wearing a look of displeasure. “I’ll let you have that one, but you best remember you have more brains than balls. Dragons don’t like being accused of shit, Snowflake.”

“Then why does everyone accuse me of being stupid?”

The smile returned. Aeris wanted to rush over and slap that smile off Cutter’s face, but Cutter was right. She was far from stupid. Even if Aeris landed a blow, she wouldn’t live long enough to reflect on her mistake.

Cutter's smile fell. "Damn. You're right. I have been treating you like a hatchling, but expect you to show me respect. I'm sorry about that. But do you understand why this is so important?"

“No, and I don’t want to.” Was all Aeris said before she spun and stormed out of the room. A low growl built in her throat until her lips pulled back in a snarl. She made no attempts to calm herself down. If this was what Cutter’s help cost her, she wanted no part of it. The others were so callous and carefree. “A necessary sacrifice.” That was all it seemed Reks was to them.

She couldn’t stand it. His master treated him like he was nothing, and no one seemed to care. All that talk about being independent and helping dragons and that was all it amounted to in the end.

A sudden thought entered her mind: He wouldn’t have died if it weren’t for her. The guilt swallowed her anger like a roar swallowing a whimper. Thinking about it now, it was her fault. If Reks hadn't gotten involved with her, if she had told her master the truth about her relationship with him from the beginning, the wedding never would've taken place, and Reks would still be alive.

Aeris lifted her head and found herself standing in front of Windor’s house. The thought of someone else telling her she was behaving like a child made her hesitant to go inside, but she also couldn’t stand the idea of being alone right now. She opened the door and went inside.

Windor was nowhere to be seen, but this was his home. Eventually, he would return. She sat in the corner and waited for him. Alternate scenarios raced through her mind, tormenting her with “maybes” and “should haves”.

She had no idea how much time had passed, but it startled her when the door opened and Windor came inside. He didn’t notice her until she said, “Welcome home.”

Windor gave a startled cry and leaped back, falling against the door. He quickly recovered and cleared his throat. "A-Aeris?! What are you doing in my house? Never mind. I'm glad you're okay! I heard what happened at the wedding. Some of the dragons think it's for the best, but a lot of them aren't happy with—"

“Don’t,” Aeris said softly. She walked over and nuzzled him under the chin. “I don’t want to talk about that anymore.”

“I understand.”

She broke away to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry, I just…I want to forget it ever happened.”

“If I could, I’d take the memory away.”

“No, I mean…Just being around you makes me feel better.” She dug her claws into the dirt floor as she fought back another growl, but it quickly turned into a whine. “I was going to say no. I couldn’t do it. All I could think about was you and how I wanted it to be you standing beside me, and —"

Windor stepped forward and placed his chin on the back of Aeris’ neck pressing their bodies together in a dragon-style embrace. “Shh. We’re not talking about that right now.”

Aeris nodded and let Windor steer her toward the mattress. For the rest of the afternoon, she didn’t think about anything except him.