Chapter 20: Fade

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04 July 2018 – San Francisco Bay, off Coyote Point, San Mateo, California

The sailboard skipped over the bay’s surface, skimming across the waves raised by the wind. Sabrina’s legs pistoned up and down, absorbing the shock of the board’s ‘slap, slap, slap’ as it bounced over the water. Twenty minutes later she and her companion sat straddling their boards as they drifted near the Hayward Bridge.

“We started way over there?” Sabrina asked.

Sonya Delgado looked over her shoulder where Sabrina pointed. “Crazy, huh?” She turned back to the young cadet six years her junior. “So how do you like it so far? You’ve picked it up pretty quickly.”

“It’s amazing! I can see why you like windsurfing so much! Although, I’m sure I’ll be sore tomorrow.”

“The day after will hurt worse, so it’s a good thing we’re not on duty again until Tuesday.”

“I appreciate you giving up your holiday to keep me company, ma’am.”

Captain Delgado raised an eyebrow at the cadet.

“I didn’t ‘give up’ anything, Sabrina. Colonel Nelson told me I’d be hosting a USAFA cadet over the July 4th holiday in early May, before I made plans. I knew I’d be on duty this week anyway, so no big deal.” She smiled at the young lady floating next to her. “You remind me of my younger sisters and after the week you had, after the year you had, I figured you deserved to have a little fun.”


Sabrina arrived in San Francisco two weekends before, slated to spend two and a half weeks shadowing a pilot from the 12th Fighter Squadron at Moffett Air Force Base. The entire first day of her Operation Air Force experience had been a string of errors.

Her commercial flight from Boston’s Logan Airport to San Francisco International was four hours late due to a mechanical issue with the plane. Once on the plane, the man occupying the seat next to her seemed to be in love with the sound of his voice, and with his cologne. His voice carried his complaints across the terminal at Logan during the maintenance delay. His cologne threatened to suffocate her during the flight. Once in San Francisco, Sabrina discovered her duffle bag went to Los Angeles instead – she checked it in Boston because it was too big for carry-on.

“What do you mean my bag is in LOS ANGELES?” Sabrina growled to the man in the Baggage Claim office. “Does this look like Los Angeles to you?”

“No,” he admitted, “but it doesn’t look like Boston either, Cadet, which is where your anger should be directed. The folks out there made the error. People here and in LA are trying to correct it. We have your cell phone number, and we will deliver your bag to Moffett once it arrives.”

Sabrina blew out a breath. “You’re right, sir, and I apologize. It’s been an exceptionally long day, but that’s no excuse for my behavior.”

The man smiled at her. “I understand, Cadet, and thank you for the apology. If it makes you feel any better, TWA did the same to me back in the day. That didn’t make reporting in all that much fun then, either. We’ll have your bag to you by the end of the business day tomorrow. You’ll need to meet my guy at Moffett’s Visitor Center when he calls.”

Sabrina thanked the man again and turned to go. And almost ran right into her sponsor for the next two weeks. Sabrina came to attention and fired off a salute. The Air Force captain returned it.

“I’m glad you apologized to Mister Ruiz, Cadet,” she said softly, “otherwise this might have been an awfully long two-plus weeks for you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“This way.” The Air Force officer turned and walked away, causing Sabrina to hustle. “What do you have in your pack?” the woman asked when Sabrina caught up.

“My orders, tickets, laptop, toiletries, and two days of clean underwear and socks, ma’am.”

The officer raised an eyebrow. “Well, someone taught you how to be prepared, that’s for sure.”

“I’m glad I listened to my parents and the academy’s travel office, ma’am.”

“I see they still make cadets wear ABUs. When is USAFA changing over to OCPs?” Sonya asked as they stepped outside and walked to a sporty little convertible.

“The regular Air Force folks already have, ma’am. The incoming first and fourth class cadets are being issued them when they report this year. My class will receive ours at the start of next year. And the incoming third class cadets will be issued them in two years, at the start of theirs – 2020.”

The captain nodded and unlocked the car.

“Okay, to formally introduce myself, I’m Captain Sonya Delgado, training officer for the 12th. I’m also one of our duty pilots. I should be able to get you at least a couple of rides in an Eagle, but the real intent of Operation Air Force is to show you what your future holds – in this case, it’s lots of paperwork.” She watched Sabrina deflate a little.

“Sorry, can’t be helped. The other thing I hope to accomplish is showing you how to interact with your NCOs. A good new nugget learns to balance their authority as officers with their NCO’s experience. Listen to their advice, but you are the one making the decisions and the one who will be on the hook if something goes haywire. Have you had much of a chance to show leadership at the academy?”

“Not as a four-dig, ma’am. This past year …? Well, I’ll explain later. In high school, yes, but I don’t think that counts.”

“Maybe not at USAFA, but it does in the long run, Sabrina. Were you the captain of a sports team in high school?”

“Yes, ma’am, twice – for a year at a time on two separate hockey teams.”

“That sounds like an interesting story, but we’ll leave that for later. When we’re in the office or around other folks, call me ‘ma’am.’ When we’re by ourselves, though, you can call me Sonya. I’m only twenty-six, and one of my sisters is about your age.” Sabrina started to say something, but Sonya held up a hand. “If you are not comfortable doing that, it’s fine. I don’t want you to get into trouble. But you’re wound a little too tight, and I don’t think your time at the academy has helped you in that regard.”


Sabrina’s bad day threatened to continue when they arrived at the Base Housing office.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the airman said, “but the cadet’s not supposed to be here until tomorrow.” Sonya glared at the man.

“Cadet, may I see your orders, please?” Sabrina handed them over without a word. Sonya glanced at them, then dropped them on the desk in front of the airman. She pointed to the report-by date listed. “This appears to be today’s date, Senior Airman Jefferson. Now find this young lady a room.” A staff sergeant stepped out of another office.

“Jefferson, what is the problem?”

“Staff Sergeant, the cadet’s orders have today’s date on them as her arrival date, but our system has tomorrow.”

“Do we have open quarters for her in a female VOQ?”

“Yes, Sergeant.”

“Then give her a room and a meal card. In the future, check to see if there is an open room fitting a visitor’s requirements and ask your NCO for guidance, understood?”

“Yes, Sergeant.”

“Get it done, Jefferson.” The sergeant turned to the two women. “This won’t take long, ma’am, Cadet. We have plenty of space.”

“Thanks, Sergeant Michelson. The cadet’s had a long day, and I’m sure she’s eager to rest.”

Sabrina dropped her backpack in her VOQ room before climbing back into Sonya’s shark-like BMW Z4, which fit Sabrina’s mental image of what a fighter pilot would drive. Sonya laughed when Sabrina mentioned that during the drive to an off-base restaurant.

“I drive this because the shitbox Chevy I owned through college died at the end of my initial flight training. It’s not the most practical thing, but since the Air Force packs and moves all my stuff for me – what little I have – I figured I’d have a little fun. It’s a good thing I didn’t get posted to Elmendorf or Shemya. I’ll buy a truck if I get stationed somewhere they get snow.” She paused. “Not that I know how to drive in snow …”

“Where are you from, ma’am?”

“Las Cruces, New Mexico. Went to New Mexico State in Las Cruces, too, mainly so I could have access to free laundry and could still see my little sisters.”

“So you’re the oldest?”

“Yep. My sister Erica is your age – nineteen, and Stacy is seventeen.”

“I’ll be twenty next week, ma’am. There’s a bit of a gap between you and your sisters,” Sabrina commented as they walked into a chain steakhouse.

“Mom had a miscarriage between me and Erica. That made her a little gun-shy about having another baby. It took Dad a few years to convince her to try again.”

“What do your mom and dad do?”

“Mom’s an administrative assistant for a pool supply business back home. Dad was killed by a drunk driver while I was a freshman at State.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That was a really bad year for all of us. I nearly failed out of college and my sisters’ grades tanked that year, too, but Mom helped all of us through it. She’s the strong one in our family.”


Sabrina learned over the next two days how much paperwork came with being a squadron training officer in addition to being a flight leader. The 12th Fighter Squadron, despite being ‘high visibility’ due to being based in a major metropolitan area, would be one of the last to upgrade their current F-15E Strike Eagles to F-35A Lightning II fighters.. Keeping enough Eagle pilots on-duty while sending others off for transition training was a constant dance. Sabrina’s eyes started to cross by that afternoon.

“Fun, isn’t it?”

“Holy crap, ma’am! How do you not leave here with a headache every night?”

“Who says I don’t?” Sabrina pinched the bridge of her nose at that answer. “Look, I know I said I would try to get you some time in a -15, but tomorrow’s flight isn’t going to be one you can go on. Even though the radar station on Mount Tam sees just about everything in the air, tomorrow is going to be a combat patrol flight looking for things too low for radar to pick up. That means my wizzo will be in the back seat.”

“Well, your weapons systems officer is the commissioned officer, ma’am …” Sabrina sighed in resignation.

“Listen, I’ve already squared this with the colonel – take the day off tomorrow and clear your head a little. You can borrow my car and visit that friend of yours in Berkeley if you want to.”

“You’re gonna let me borrow your car, ma’am?”

“It’s just a car, Sabrina. It’s not like I’m letting you borrow a jet …”

Sabrina dropped Sonya off at the flight line the next morning. She killed some time by having breakfast at an on-base dining facility, hoping to allow the morning traffic to ease. The drive to Berkeley took an hour despite the lower traffic volume. The GPS app on her smartphone guided her to Pete Knapp’s apartment building. Parking wasn’t bad in the student-oriented neighborhood with most of Cal-Berkeley’s students away for summer break, but she could see how it could be cutthroat during the regular school year.

Mrs. Knapp – Marcia, as she insisted last night – told Sabrina that Pete had a new girlfriend, so he wasn’t answering his phone consistently. Checking her watch yet again, Sabrina assured herself 1030 wasn’t too early to call. Phone calls both to Pete’s cell and to the apartment’s landline went unanswered. She found a pen and notepad in the center console of the Z4. Scribbling a quick note, she climbed out of the car and started walking to the front door of Pete’s building.

“Sabrina?” she heard an uncertain voice call from her left.

“PETE!” Sabrina bounded over and hugged him, ignoring the frown from the young woman next to him. “Hi, Pete! You look good!”

“Thanks! So do you! The Air Force Academy has been good to you, then?”

“It has its moments, but it also sent me to San Francisco for two weeks free of charge, so who am I to complain?” Pete laughed before turning to the young woman with him.

“Sabrina, this is my girlfriend, Sandy Frasier. Sandy, this is Sabrina Knox. We graduated from high school together.” He left off the part about her being a former girlfriend. Sabrina thought that wise, not that it mattered in the end.

“And you two were boyfriend and girlfriend, if I remember correctly,” Sandy replied with frost in her voice. “I’ve heard your mother mention her more than once, and she’s in your Prom pictures, remember? ‘Sabrina this, and Sabrina that … I hear she’s doing well at the Air Force Academy …’ Give me a break!” Sandy gave Sabrina an insincere smile.

“Yes, we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but you’re here in Berkeley with him and I’m not. Whatever our romantic relationship was, that’s in the past – we’re just friends now.”

“Oh, like you didn’t come here to rekindle your relationship!”

“I’m only here for two weeks, working at the Air Force base at the south end of the bay. How am I supposed to ‘rekindle’ a relationship, exactly, when I already know I’m leaving soon?”

“None of you damn fascists should be here!” Sandy spat. “They closed the navy bases in Alameda and at Mare Island down, but they need to close all of the bases around here!”

‘Like that’s gonna happen …’ Sabrina thought. She looked at Pete, who seemed like he wasn’t sure who his girlfriend was. “I see this was a bad idea,” Sabrina grumbled. She started to walk away.

“Sabrina! Wait!” Pete came running up behind her.

“Don’t bother, Pete,” she replied sadly. “I hoped coming here would be a good thing, getting to see you again, but it’s just reinforced the feeling that everyone in this city hates anyone in the military or public safety.” She shook her head. “Get away from that one, if you can. She’s more than a little insecure …” she whispered. “I bet she’s going to tell you that you can’t be friends with me or Shawn anymore. You know, the two fascists.”

“Come on, Sabrina, it won’t be that bad …”

“Right,” she snorted. “She’s giving me the death stare already. I bet she starts in on you before you even get inside.”

“That’s not fair …”

“No, it isn’t, but neither is how she’ll make you treat your friends.” She sighed again. “Forget it. Do what you want, Moose …”

Sabrina saw the shock and pain from the insult on Pete’s face before she turned away. The Z4’s tires left a patch of rubber when she drove away as fast as she could. Pete stood motionless on the sidewalk with Sandy yelling in his ear and pointing in Sabrina’s direction.

Through her tears, Sabrina steered the car toward the Marin Peninsula and the ocean. Gazing out to sea always made her feel better. Tears of frustration and loss still ran down her face as she stared out over the Pacific an hour later. She had climbed a steep trail on the former Fort Cronkhite to an old, wind-swept coastal artillery battery overlooking the ocean.

Sabrina ignored the other sightseers as she sat in the dirt on the cliffside. The year’s stress came roaring back in waves along with its anger and pain. The same feelings from high school resurfaced and added to her misery. She fought not to break down in full view of everyone, but it was futile. She buried her head between her raised knees to try and hide the fresh tears. Other than her posture, her shaking shoulders were the only physical sign of her distress.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there before she heard a voice call out to her.

“Miss? Are you okay?”

Sabrina looked up into the face of a man a little older than her Grandpa Joe. He wore a tan garrison cap trimmed in red, a black satin jacket bearing what looked like the gold crossed cannons of Army Artillery over a khaki shirt, and khaki pants. He smiled down at her.

“Do you need any help?”

Sabrina sniffled and wiped her tears away. “No, sir, but thank you. I just had a bad meeting with someone I thought was a friend.”

The man lowered himself to the ground with some effort and sat beside her.

“Do you want to tell ol’ Mitch your troubles, or would you rather I went away? I’ll do whichever you like, but you’re probably gonna have to help me back up.”

She snorted with quick laughter. She explained why she was in San Francisco, her high school and academy experiences, and why she was so upset. Mitch nodded as he looked west over the open ocean.

“I don’t remember high school all that well, but I do remember that I didn’t like it much, and I never went to college. I disliked high school and my hometown so much so that I joined the Army to get away – during Vietnam, no less.” He sighed. “People can disappoint you, even people you’ve called ‘friend’ for years. People I used to hang around with in high school turned on me and called me ‘baby killer’ and ‘murderer’ back then because of the choice I made.”

He turned to Sabrina. “I moved back here and met my wife when my time in the Army was up. I had been stationed at one of the Nike sites here until they closed the place and reassigned me. I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t let life’s ups and downs get to you too much. Things have a way of working out.”

The old man heaved himself up and into a standing position. He brushed himself off wearing a look of surprise that he was able to get up. He held his hand out to Sabrina. “Come on, let me show you around the place.”

After helping her up he gently took her arm and escorted her into the old bunker. He showed her around the inside of the old fortification because that’s what he was – a tour guide.

“What is that?” Sabrina asked at one point, pointing to a strange creature painted on the wall.

“That, my dear, is the all-seeing Oozlefinch.” Mr. Mitchell replied.

“Oozlefinch?”

“Yes. A rare bird first identified at Fort Monroe, Virginia, then home of the Coast Artillery Corps – at the Officer’s Club, specifically.”

“The Officer’s Club, huh? I’m guessing there was some alcohol involved in this ‘discovery?’”

“I can’t speak to the off-duty habits of officers, Miss, having only been an enlisted man myself. But we do know that the officers there discovered this quite remarkable species: featherless with large eyes, and capable of flying backward at supersonic speeds. The Oozlefinch became the mascot of the Coast Artillery, and later the Air Defense Artillery – but one never officially sanctioned by the Army, mind you.”

Sabrina shook her head at the creativity of bored military personnel with access to alcohol. “And what does that mean?” she asked, pointing to the motto arched over the strange bird:

QUID AD SCELERATORUM CURAMUS

“Ah, yes. Those were sacred words to those in these bunkers and at Nike sites across the country: ‘What the hell do we care?’”

Sabrina’s laughter echoed through the concrete caverns of the casemate. “I seriously doubt the Army would have ever allowed that artwork on the wall while this battery was in service!”

“You’re right on that. This battery and the others around here were sealed off after World War II and the dissolution of the Coast Artillery, but vandals must have broken in from time to time.”

“Vandals who snuck onto an Army base and just happened to know about the Oozlefinch? And why does the paint look so new?”

“The Army is big on tradition, and they probably knew that …” Sabrina shook her head once again. “In any event, this is what I brought you in here to see. Not necessarily the Oozlefinch, but the motto. You have to ask yourself why you care about this situation with your friend, and if you aren’t being a bit harsh. You didn’t give him any real chance to process the situation he found himself in, which was squarely between a long-time friend and his current girlfriend. Has the boy you knew in high school changed that much? That’s the decision you find yourself having to make, Miss Sabrina Knox: is this a friend you want to keep, or one that can fade into the mists of time?”

“Or have I made that decision already and that’s why I reacted like I did?” she asked glumly.

“That is a possibility. You won’t know until you talk to your friend again.” Stan Mitchell saw the sad look on the young woman’s face. “When it comes right down to it, Miss Sabrina, there’s one other faux Latin motto you should embrace to get through life: Illegitimi non carborundum …”

“‘Don’t let the bastards grind you down …’”

“Correct. Keep your chin up and step smartly, keep your eyes on the prize – whatever the prize is to you, and however you want to say it. I’m not calling your friend a bastard – I doubt you’d be friends with him if he were – it’s just a generic word in this case.”

Sabrina nodded. She looked thoughtful now rather than sad. Stan led her to one of the exits. She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks for talking to me, Mr. Mitchell.” Stan touched his cheek where the kiss landed.

“Miss Knox, you’ve just made this old man’s week! I’ll have to figure out how I’m gonna tell Donna about the pretty girl who kissed me at work today, though!” They shared a laugh. “Remember, you’ll get through this.”


Pete didn’t answer his cell or return her calls for almost three days. When he did during lunch on Friday, Sabrina wished he hadn’t.

“Hi, Pete,” she answered in a cautious tone.

“Hi, Sabrina.”

“Pete, like I said in my voicemails, I’m sorry about how I acted on Tuesday …”

“Thank you for saying so, Sabrina.” He didn’t sound all that thankful.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” he snorted. “Sandy and I broke up.”

Sabrina closed her eyes at the news. “Pete, I’m sorry …”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like you two were going to be friends, anyway …”

“No, but she was your girlfriend. I should have considered how she’d react to an old girlfriend showing up out of the blue.”

“Maybe. Look, Sabrina, I’m not really in the mood to discuss the hows and whys of my breakup right now. I called because I needed to say something, and that’s that I don’t think we should speak to each other for a while.”

Sabrina felt like Pete just drove a knife through her heart. “Pete …”

“No, Sabrina, you had your say Tuesday and now it’s MY turn!” he growled. Tears filled Sabrina’s eyes because she could already see how the conversation was going to go. “If there’s anything two years at college has done for me, it’s that it’s helped me get over my shyness and inability to talk to others about how I feel. What you said about Sandy didn’t hurt nearly as much as you calling me ‘Moose!’”

Pete took a breath. “We haven’t talked since we graduated, not like we used to in high school, not that that’s much of a surprise. We’ve both been busy living our lives and finding our place in the world. I don’t understand what you’ve had to go through in Colorado, but you sure as shit can’t understand what I’ve been through here. At every turn, I’ve defended you and Shawn because you’re my friends and don’t fit the stereotype some people in my classes seem to believe of the military and public safety. That isolated me when I should have been making new friends, and I thought I’d finally met someone who understood me in Sandy.

“In hindsight we probably wouldn’t have lasted. Her feelings about the police and military would have surfaced eventually. But dammit, Sabrina, I should have been allowed to discover that on my own, not by you forcing the issue!” She heard him take loud, slow breaths. “I’m going to hang up now before I say something I’ll regret for years. For now, don’t call me, Sabrina.”

The line went dead. Sabrina sat staring at her phone in the middle of the base dining facility.

“Sabrina?” Sabrina looked up and into the face of 1LT Jacobson, a pilot in the 12th. He blinked at her blank expression and pale skin. This wasn’t the bright, eager cadet he met at the start of the week. “Come on,” he said while gently tugging at her arm, “I’m bringing you back to your VOQ.”


Sabrina woke with a start. The room’s curtains were drawn, but she could tell it was dark outside. She sat up, fighting dizziness and mild nausea as she waited on the edge of the bed. She rose and shuffled to the small table in her room. The note there told her to call her sponsor when she was able, and that there was food in the small refrigerator. Sabrina settled into a chair with an undignified <whump>. Sabrina looked down at her rumpled clothes, trying to remember all the events of the day – it had been a long one. She found her phone and called Sonya Delgado.

“Finally awake, then?”

“Barely …” she snorted.

“Are you going to be able to get back to sleep tonight?”

“I hope so. I just woke up, but I’m already exhausted again.”

“Tomorrow’s the Fourth and neither of us is on-duty. I’m picking you up at zero-nine-thirty, we’re going off-base for breakfast, and then we’re going to do something not even remotely Air Force in nature …”


Sabrina snapped out of her memories to find she and Sonya had drifted closer to the bridge.

“Finally back in the present?” Sonya asked.

“I started thinking about the past week here, and my last year at the academy after you brought them up …”

“Yeah, well, you lived through it so the question now is can you live with it?”

Sabrina watched a 747 lift off from San Francisco International.

“I guess I have to, don’t I? It’s not like I can go back and change what happened. Like quite a few things in my life …” A different jet engine’s roar drew her attention to the south. A pair of Moffett’s F-15s streaked overhead before turning west to head out over the ocean.

“Who we become is shaped by our experiences, good or bad – as you well know, Sabrina. You were passed over for being a BCT cadre member this summer but got the chance to come here before the rest of your summer leave. You would have had some great experiences had you been selected for the Exchange Cadet program, too, but now you have the opportunity for other experiences while still in Colorado Springs this fall. And don’t look at the rest of your time at home as ‘just’ returning home. Look for the chance to make memories then, too.”

Sabrina nodded while watching the waves slide past her.

“Come on,” Sonya said as she stood up on her board. “We’ve got our work cut out for us getting back to Coyote Point.”


“So, did you enjoy the flight, Sabrina?” Sonya asked Friday afternoon. The twenty-year-old laughed while unfastening her G-suit.

“My shrieks of excitement and giddy laughter didn’t tell you that I did, ma’am?”

“I figured that was the case,” Sonya replied with a smile, “but I wanted to be sure.” The older woman paused. “Did it help?” Sabrina sat back and considered the question.

“A little,” she sighed. “Like windsurfing on Wednesday, it eased the pain of maybe losing Pete as a friend, if only a little bit. And like Mister Mitchell said, I have to understand why it hurts so much. I’m not sure I know the answer to that question yet.”

“Those can be difficult questions to find answers to, that’s for sure. I hope you also have an answer to the question of what you’ll do if you don’t get a pilot’s slot?”

From the look on Sabrina’s face, Sonya knew Sabrina didn’t.


The late morning of July 8th saw Sonya and Sabrina back at San Francisco International. Her OpAF experience had been a mix of flying and non-flying days while on duty. Sabrina flew five times, but the majority of her ‘internship’ was office work. Sonya pointed out that unless on deployment, ‘paper airplanes’ were what she flew the most.

Other travelers streamed around the two women as they stood motionless in front of the ticket counters. They found the listing for Sabrina’s flight home to Boston on the Departures screen and noted the gate assignment. Sabrina checked in at the self-serve kiosk and the pair found a place for an early lunch outside the security checkpoint.

“So you have to be back in Colorado when Sabrina?”

“A little less than a month from now. The orders say, ‘no later than 03 August 2018.’ I’ll head back early and spend some time with my sponsor family. I didn’t keep in touch with them very well last year.”

Sonya nodded but said nothing. The remainder of the meal passed in silence.

“Keep in touch when you can, Sabrina,” the captain said to her young charge as they approached the security cordon. Sonya wouldn’t be able to accompany Sabrina to the gate. “I hope your career gets you where you want to go.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Since neither was in uniform today, they shook hands rather than exchanging salutes.


‘Good God, this must be why Mom and Dad never fly commercial …’ Sabrina thought while keeping the grimace off her face. ‘I don’t think this guy’s shut up since we sat down.’

The seven-across seating on the 797 airliner managed to feel cramped despite the ‘wide-body’ appellation. The fact she was pinned against the curved wall of the plane’s fuselage by the corpulent man in the aisle seat might have something to do with it. As soon as he sat down the man flipped the center armrest up and out of the way.

“Those things always dig into my side,” was the only explanation he offered as his bulk spilled out of his seat and partway into hers.

That had been three hours ago. Her attempts to lower the armrest again were met with more whining than she heard in two years at the academy. She resigned herself to suffer in silence.

‘Play nice, Sabrina,’ she reminded herself multiple times. ‘Only another three hours.’

The Air Force logo on her laptop’s screen triggered another round of bleating from her neighbor. He went on and on about how he didn’t understand why anyone would want to join the military. Why she, in particular, would want to join or even join the astronaut corps when she brought it up. Then there was the quality of the in-flight meal, the entertainment choices offered, the price of upgrades available for both the meal and the entertainment, the ‘inferior’ headphones as he called them and their rental price, the price of drinks …

Sabrina finally had enough and dropped her noise-canceling headphones over her ears with a smile. A touch of the volume button and she couldn’t hear the man speaking or the roar of the jets. She leaned her seat back and closed her eyes. She felt a hand on her arm sometime later and jerked in revulsion. It was the flight attendant, who deserved a medal for leaning over the bulk of the man next to Sabrina.

“We’re about fifteen minutes out from Boston, miss,” the young man said once she lifted the headphones out of the way. “I’m afraid I need to ask you to put your things away, close your tray table, and bring your seat fully upright.”

“Yes, sir, thank you.”

The man smiled and continued down the aisle to check the rest of the passengers. If her seatmate started his whining again Sabrina didn’t notice as she packed up in preparation for landing.

The seats in front of Sabrina creaked ominously as the man next to her pulled himself out of his seat. Sabrina admitted to herself that he never would have gotten out of the seat if the armrest had still been down. The man snatched his bags from the overhead bin and stepped into the aisle without a glance, nearly knocking over another passenger. Sabrina shared a look with the older woman before shaking her head.

“Come on out, dear,” the woman said.

Sabrina smiled at the woman before asking which bag in the bin belonged to her. Sabrina wrestled the bag down for the woman and motioned for her to go ahead of her.

“I just have my backpack at the moment, ma’am. My other bag is checked. You two go ahead.” The woman and her husband thanked Sabrina and stepped into the aisle.

Sabrina finally emerged from the jetway and onto one of Logan International’s four domestic concourses. The aging airport’s terminals had been undergoing a near-constant cycle of renovations for as long as she could remember. This one looked to have been recently redone.

Passengers from Sabrina’s flight merged with those from two others as they all made their way down to Baggage Claim. She slipped between families and business people to grab her duffel and escape to the curbside pickup area.

“Hi, Dad,” she sighed as she leaned back into the passenger’s seat.

“That good, huh?” Jeff asked as the pickup pulled away from the curb.

“No wonder you and Mom hate flying commercial! I’m chartering a flight back to Colorado Springs so I don’t have to deal with the Denver shuttle again, too.” she sighed while massaging her temples. Jeff snorted.

“You don’t think some of the other cadets out there are trust fund brats, also? If you don’t like flying commercial, then charter that private plane. Who’s gonna care, Sabrina? It’s not like anyone’s gonna be watching the FBO keeping track. You’ll all be doing the same job when you graduate and get commissioned. The money will help you live more comfortably but it won’t help you do the job.”

“I don’t want the vultures circling once they know I have it, Dad.”

“So, a solid prenup when the time comes, then. If the person in question loves you it won’t matter to them, anyway.” He guided the pickup through Logan’s maze and into the Ted Williams Tunnel.

“‘Person,’ Dad?”

“You think I’m going to discount the possibility you might fall in love with a woman? Your Aunt Charlie and Aunt Emilie might hurt me if they hear about that.”

“Well … you remember I liked making out with my boyfriends, right?”

“College is the time for exploration, Sabrina.”

She rolled her eyes at that one.

“How was your internship or whatever you call it..?”

“My time at Moffett was great. I got to see what squadron-level officers do, from the second looey to captain. My off-duty time …” Here she sighed.

“What happened?”

“I drove to Berkeley to visit Pete Knapp during my first week there.”

“From the way you’re saying it, it doesn’t sound like it was a good visit …”

“No,” she admitted. “His girlfriend was hostile right from the beginning, which got my back up …”

“Which put Pete right in the middle …”

“Yeah.” Despite the late hour, Jeff could see his daughter’s troubled face clearly, thanks to the bright lights in the tunnel. She explained how the visit unfolded.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m hardly the one to give you any real advice, Sabrina. I let issues with both Uncle Tom and Aunt Heather fester for years without any real resolution. I wasn’t the one to initiate contact in either case.”

“But you salvaged friendships with both of them,” she pointed out.

“I kinda got lucky, you know.”

Sabrina frowned as she continued to stare out the windshield.


Phone calls to her high school friends over the next few days went mostly unanswered. That had been the usual result before she left for the west coast as well. The only people Sabrina connected with were Erica Thorisson and Shawn Hurt. Tommy Jones was on vacation with his family. Once again their schedules were out of sync. Ruby Sepulveda and Naomi Taggert never called back after Sabrina left messages with their mothers. She did learn this time that the two had broken up.

Shawn and Erica drove to Sabrina’s house in Lancaster. Neither had been there since before graduation, and Keiko and Jeff greeted both warmly.

“Have you guys heard from Pete at all?” Sabrina asked her friends at one point.

“Not much,” Shawn admitted. Erica shook her head. “I think the last time I heard from him was January of our freshman year. He didn’t come home last summer, either.”

“Yeah, same here,” Erica confirmed.

“What about the others? Ruby, Naomi, Vic, Faith..?”

“We’ve all kind of drifted apart, I guess,” Erica shrugged. “I haven’t heard from any of them in months, maybe not for a year or more for some of them.”

Sabrina sat staring off into the woods, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she wondered how such a tight-knit group had fallen apart.

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