Chapter 5: Adulthood, Out of Reach

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A few years have now passed since the last Dry Death. We thankfully haven't gone through any other famines, but I never stopped feeling worried at the approach of every new dry season.

The Rai'in's growth rate slows down significantly after the earliest years, so I'm now seven but could be compared to a twelve-year-old human who hasn't started puberty yet. It's almost time for us to reach adulthood and become Rai'enu or Rai'ila, so more and more of the Elder's classes started focusing on that.

The process is apparently quite painful, since our body morphs very rapidly, so it became common to ingest a special concoction that numbs the pain before going through it. Our body will start slightly hurting a whole day before the transformation happens, so we have a bit of time to prepare at least.

Once we're all adults, the Elder will stop teaching us, and we're going to start receiving combat training from one of the village's warriors. We'll get to learn to use a few weapons, so I'm thinking of picking the sword and the bow. The former because that's what I used in my previous life as the Hero, and the latter because it seems most efficient to hunt with.

Culturally, we're also expected to start looking for a life partner almost immediately after having reached adulthood. In my case, the person I'm closest with is Cieno, but we're both going to become Rai'enu. I'll have to start meeting with the Rai'ila my age to find someone suitable.

The Rai'in don't get married like humans do. Once a Rai'enu and a Rai'ila move into the same house, it's considered official, and the tribal nature of our society makes it so we don't have strict laws regarding what a relationship should be like. Not all couples choose to have children, and I'm aware of at least a few people in the village who never got a partner, so while there's strong cultural pressure, people who end up outside of the norm aren't punished for it.

A lot of the things we learned from our parents as children were to prepare us for our own adult lives. Now that I'm close to leaving the nest, my parents are putting in extra effort to make sure I can cook, collect food, and craft various tools to an acceptable level. The whole growing up process felt very fast, but that's likely because I still remember how long it took to reach adulthood as a human.

And so, the more time passes, the more it feels like I'm about to enter into the world of adult Rai'in. However, I'm still at a loss as to what to do to help solve the problems that caused Falie's death. There won't be another monster king for a few decades, and I'm still not sure of what the point of going to war really is. Of course, conquering some territories would mean we can move there, but that would displace the population already living in those places. I tried looking for answers, but no one in the village seemed to be willing to talk to a child about war.

One morning, as we enter the classroom, we see a large Rai'enu sitting on the ground, surrounded by our classmates. Cieno approaches and asks:

"What's going on, who is this?"

One of our classmates smugly responds:

"You don't recognize them? It's Saoni!"

We both get closer, taking a good look at his face. Yeah, now that they mentioned it, I can see it. I ask:

"So you're the first to become a Rai'enu?"

"Seems like it."

"Was it really as painful as they say?"

"Well I took the medicine, so it was bearable. I definitely still felt it though."

As more and more people enter the classroom, the crowd around Saoni grows, and he gets asked more and more questions. The Elder eventually comes in and strikes his cane against the bark board, inviting us to go back to our places and be silent. He does, however, still seem very pleased, and asks:

"So, Saoni, did you already receive your adult name?"

"Not yet, Elder. My parents are still thinking about it."

"Very well. Make sure to let us know when it happens so we can start using your new name. I remind you all that using an adult's childhood name when you're not very close to them is extremely disrespectful."

We all nod. Receiving and using a new name is extremely important to the Rai'in, as it marks our full entry into the adult world. Our parents are tasked with giving it to us once they know whether we're a Rai'enu or a Rai'ila.

With this out of the way, the Elder begins the lesson, but I can tell that everyone's attention is directed towards Saoni.

 

From that day onward, more and more of my classmates start showing up in their adult form. We must do an effort to learn all of the new names, and pressure starts mounting on those of us who are still children to finally go through the transformation. Unfortunately, there's no way to speed up the process, it simply happens when it happens.

One evening, as the sun is setting, I head outside to carve some wood while sitting on my balcony. I enjoy leaning against the wall of the house like this while the wind flows through my hair. The dry season is quite gentle this year, so I've been spending more time out of the house.

As I'm focused on carving a knot away, I hear an unfamiliar voice below calling to me. I get up, look down, and see a Rai'enu I don't recognize waving at me. Curious, I jump from branch to branch until I reach the floor, where he says:

"Hey Pailu, it finally happened!"

I take a closer look, and after a few seconds, respond:

"Cieno?"

He nods, all proud, before saying:

"Ah, but my name is Or'xarem now. Although, if it's you, I don't mind being called Cieno."

The naming conventions for the Rai'in are fairly unique. Every Rai'enu in a tribe will have the same prefix to their name, in our case "Or". The Rai'ila get a different prefix that's also the same in the whole village, "Ai" in this instance. Childhood names don't have any restrictions, but are always kept short. If you know someone's name, you can know which tribe they're from thanks to the prefix, so it ends up serving a purpose not dissimilar to the family names I'm used to from my time as a human. That being said, I know it's common to simply drop the prefix in a lot of cases, so I'm more likely to be calling him "Xarem" most of the time.

I sit on a tree root and sigh before saying:

"And I was born before you, too. Why is it taking me so long?"

"We all need more or less time to get there. I'm sure you'll go through it soon."

"So, was it painful?"

"Mhhh... Not really. It felt weird, but the medicine seemed to work really well for me."

"Lucky. I hope it's painless for me too."

As we talk, I take a closer look at Xarem. He always had green hair that's so dark it's almost black, and that hasn't changed. However, his skin got a lot darker, he's way taller now, and his muscles make him look like he's been training hard for years. The shape of his face also change considerably, making him look far more masculine now. He looks... really good.

He turns towards me and says:

"If you do feel pain, feel free to ask me to come comfort you."

As he says that, he smiles brightly, and I feel my heart speed up as blood rushes to my cheeks.

Uh? What's this sensation? I need to become a Rai'enu, so I can't go and fall for him, even if he's now incredibly handsome and having him hold me in his arms would probably feel really good, on top of...

I shake my head and look away. I need to calm down. Seeing this, he asks:

"Everything okay? Is it what I said? You're embarrassed to rely on your childhood friend for help now that he's an adult?"

"No, no, it's not that. Thanks for the offer, I'll see if I need it."

As he leans back to rest against the tree, I start pouting a bit. Why did he get to transform before me? It feels so unfair. I look at my hands and arms... I don't feel any pain, so it's not for the immediate future. At least I'm not alone, a few of my classmates have yet to reach adulthood. There's no way I'll end up being last.

 

One morning, as the dry season nears its end, I find myself sitting in class, completely surrounded by Rai'enu and Rai'ila.

I am the only child left.

The Elder takes a look at the class, seeming very happy.

"Very good, very good. Now that there's only one of you who hasn't transformed yet, I made arrangements to have you start combat and hunt training soon. Pailu should have reached adulthood by the time you begin, considering that they were born before many of you. This marks the end of the classes I give you as well. You're now ready to walk the world on your own two feet, to start your own families, and to participate in the tribe as full members. I am proud of you, and I'm sure your parents are too. Now, let's begin this final lesson."

 

As we're eating dinner that night, I ask:

"Hey, is it normal for me to take so long to become an adult?"

My dad shrugs, and my mom tries to reassure me:

"Everyone is different, and it takes a bit longer for some people. I'm sure it's disheartening to see everyone transform before you when you've been talking about becoming a Rei'enu for a lot longer than many of them, but sometimes that's just how things are. It can't possibly be much longer now."

I know it's true, but I'm still not satisfied.

 

I started carrying with me the vial of pain-numbing medicine, just in case. After all, people keep telling me my transformation is just around the corner, so I can't be too ready. However, when the day arrives for us to begin combat training, I'm still a child.

Our teacher, a Rai'ila warrior, is at a complete loss as to what to do.

"I can't really train you while your body is like this, the weapons will be too heavy and you won't have the stamina to keep going for the whole class... I guess you can grab a branch and try to practice some of the basic movements for now, while we wait for you to transform."

I nod. I feel completely ashamed and all the attention is on me, as I'm the only one who hasn't managed to catch up yet. Still, I should try my best to learn what I can, so that I won't be too far behind when I finally become a Rai'enu.

But the days turn to weeks, which turn to months, and I find myself remaining stuck in a child's body. With the training becoming more intense, I'm unable to keep up, and I'm aware that rumors are starting to spread about me. People in the village, including my classmates, are saying that I did something to anger a higher power and that I'm being punished by being forced to remain a kid. Even the Elder says he's never seen something like this before.

Our teacher tries her best to adapt to the situation, but I can tell that the amount of attention she's giving me is starting to piss off the others. While she's helping me figure out what kind of training I can do, she's not giving them feedback on their own practice.

I'm holding everyone back because my body refuses to transform. Maybe the others are right that I did something wrong. Am I really going to stay stuck like this forever?

One day, as I'm resting under a tree while everyone else is still training, I'm approached by three of my classmates. One of them startles me by ramming his sword into the trunk, next to my head, before saying:

"How long are you going to make us have to deal with your problem? We're losing a ton of training because of you, if you're going to stay a kid forever you might as well just drop out and let the adults go ahead!"

I look up and see that they're all angry. One of them is cracking his knuckles while the last member of the trio is scowling at me. Are they going to beat me? I curl up in a defensive position, putting my hands in front of my face, before saying:

"I'm sorry, that's not what I wanted, but I can't..."

"You can't what? Leave? Of course you can! Someone who's forever a child can't be useful while hunting or fighting. You can't hold us back forever. Your energy would be better spent trying to understand what kind of curse is messing with you."

Curse? Is there still something left from what the Monster King did to me that's interfering with the process? Without knowing what kind of spell he cast on me, however, it's going to be almost impossible for me to figure it out.

They might be right. Maybe I should stop attending these classes and try to find answers. Will I need to leave the village for that? Probably. As a child, that would be extremely dangerous, but... What other options do I have?

As I'm thinking, still scared that they might try to hurt me, I hear someone walk between us. I look up and see Xarem, who's now shielding me.

"Leave them alone. It's not their fault they're stuck like this, and they deserve to learn just like the rest of us."

"Why are you defending them? They're slowing you down, too. Don't you think we'd be better off if they just stopped coming?"

"No, I don't. Pailu has talent, and even if they can't quite keep up because of their body, it would be a waste to not let them train as much as they can while we wait for them to finally reach adulthood."

"Pah! Let's be serious, there's no way they're getting there! Some god cursed them and they'll stay like this forever. By associating with them, you might anger that god too."

"Then let them come. Pailu is my precious friend, and I'd fight even a god to protect them."

I feel my blood rush to my face as he says that. Why does he have to embarrass me like this? Fortunately, no one is paying attention to me. The Rai'enu who hit the tree with his sword pulls it out before saying:

"We have a hunting excursion tomorrow. Pailu won't be able to follow. I hope this opens your eyes."

As they leave, Xarem turns towards me and sits on the ground to be closer to my height.

"Are you okay? You looked scared there."

"I thought they were going to hurt me. I... Am I really that much of a burden?"

He puts a hand on my head and smiles before answering:

"No, of course not. They want the teacher to reassure them that they're doing good, and they can't have that while she's with you. They just need to rely on each other more to solve that issue."

"But what about you? Don't you wish you could ask her questions sometimes but can't?"

"I just wait for her to be done. It's not that hard."

"Still, what if they're right and that my time would be better spent trying to figure out why I'm not transforming?"

"Is there anything you can seriously do about it? Any clue to start from?"

"Well... maybe... but it's not all that clear right now."

"Then you should stay here. I'll help you investigate if you find anything, so don't feel like you have to give up on everything and rush ahead, okay?"

He's being so kind to me again... Why? No matter what happens, he's always there for me. I want to cry of joy, but that would probably just make him worry more, so I do my best to calm down and keep the tears in.

Seeing that I don't respond, he continues:

"Come with us to the excursion tomorrow. You can still learn by watching, and I'll carry you on my back if you get too tired."

That comment gets me to laugh as I imagine myself holding on to him, seeing everything from much higher than I'm used to.

"Thanks. I'll take you up on that offer."

He smiles, then gets back up.

"Looks like class is wrapping up. I'll go bring this spear back."

I nod and also get up, ready to follow him.

 

We've been walking for a few hours now, and while I've managed to keep up so far, I can tell I'll have to ask Xarem for help on the way back. I'm so tired! We started by reaching a canyon that passes near the village, then we followed it for a while. The reason given is that bigger prey stays far from our home, so we need to go further out to find them.

This excursion serves the goal of teaching us the Rai'in's favored hunting methods, and to bring some food back to the village for all our families to enjoy. I can't participate, as I won't be able to keep up or use weapons strong enough to kill the wildlife inhabiting the forest, but I'm still tagging along to learn whatever I can from this experience.

Our teacher raises her hand to tell us to stop.

"We're here. According to reports from trained hunters, a herd of grazeirs is traveling through this canyon and should pass here sometime today. We will climb down, then position ourselves for an ambush. We may have to be patient, but that's simply part of hunting."

The others start taking out their climbing gear and attaching ropes to the side of the cliff. Due to my smaller stature and frailer constitution, I wasn't made to carry any additional material, but I should still be able to climb down normally.

Once we're at the bottom, everyone positions themselves in hiding behind the various rocky outcrops dotting the area. I stay a bit further away, along with the teacher, and we wait.

The plan is to start with a volley of arrows when the grazeirs are in the right place. Some of them are almost certain to miss vital organs, so the faster members of the class will run after them to try to finish them off. The uninjured ones will escape, but that's a desirable outcome, killing off an entire herd would give far too much food.

As we wait, some hunters become complacent, making themselves more comfortable and not paying as much attention to the path. I would probably do the same in their place, we've been here for over an hour and nothing happened, and we're sure to hear our prey approaching.

After another while, we start seeing a cloud of dust in the distance and hearing the footsteps of distant a herd. Everyone adjusts their position, making sure they're hidden and silent, as they wait for the right moment to strike.

Soon enough, a volley of arrows flies out from behind the rocks on both sides of the herd, mortally wounding many grazeirs and causing the rest to start running in a panic. An extremely large specimen with multiple sets of horns has also been hit, which causes the teacher to say:

"Oh, I'll have to take care of that one. Stay there, Pailu, it's dangerous."

She gets out of our hiding spot and starts pursuing it, joining my many classmates who are also trying to catch up to the herd.

From behind my rock, I observe the scene, trying to absorb as much information from it as I can. I'm interrupted, however, when a monster bursts out of the cliff wall behind me and bites into my leg before dragging me inside with it. I let out a scream and try to grab onto something, but my hands simply slip from any rock I manage to grab. I see some of my classmates start running in my direction, so at least they'll be able to save me.

My hope is immediately dashed by the monster casting a spell on the dirt around it, causing the hole I'm being dragged through to disappear as we travel deeper underground. As darkness completely closes in on me, I find myself seriously fearing for my life.

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