For her, it always came to these moments.
The concrete curb of the side walk was cold on her bare feet, but she didn't move from its edge. As still as possible, she sat there and waited. A feeling of sorrow and regret washed over her. It was right on time. Closing her eyes, she let the breeze pick up her dark strands of long hair and swirl them around her face. She knew that moving started that way. Something small; a twitch or a shudder. But it always led her away from where she had been. Leaving the side walk was like leaving this place forever.
Dirt and small rocks cut into her feet as she walked. Instead of travelling on the sidewalk, she was on the line in the middle of the road. The once white dress was now brown and grey; smudged with sad memories and stained with hate. She couldn't recall where she had lost her shoes and she had no desire to try and find them.
It could have been days or weeks, there was no way for her to track the time. The sun slid across the sky and the stars spotted the darkness. Shadow stretched from her feet and painted a silhouette that she followed. The first car she encountered swerved around her while honking the horn. She imagined that they had been swearing at her. Most people did.
An old red truck slowed and stopped next to her in the road. A man who may have been as old as the truck stared out at her across the empty passenger seat and through the open window. She turned to regard him, but kept her feet moving. Stopping was likely to undo her. That was when the pain would come. Time had taught her that lesson.
"Where you heading?" he asked. He'd let the truck creep along so that he was still beside her as she walked.
"Where ever this road leads me," she whispered.
"Well, get in then and I'll take you to the end of it," he said, stopping the car.
He could see that there was a hesitation in her turn, but she did get into the truck. She was even smaller now that she was sitting next to him. Scrunching herself up, she wrapped her arms around her legs and settled her chin on her knees. She looked like a child then. When she had been on the road she had seemed almost as old has he was. Everything about her looked like suffering. He wanted to hug her and promise her that everything would be alright. But what did he know?
"If you're hungry, there are some chips in the lunch box at your feet," he said.
When he glanced at her again, he saw that she was asleep. How long had she intended to ride with him? There was no clear place for him to drop her off. He'd promised to take her to the end of this road, but he didn't know where that was. Driving through the small town, he thought about this place that he had been living most of his life. The road cut through and then moved on. He didn't know what other places it lead to. It didn't matter much.
Deciding that he would take her home and feed her, he flipped on his blinker. Her eyes flicked open and she popped her head up. She looked at him when he started to turn onto the road that would take them to his small farm. Saying nothing, she watched out the window.
"You can stay at the farm tonight, if you'd like."
He looked at her, thinking that it was crazy and that he was going to get into an accident, but he couldn't help himself. Still silent, she nodded. He returned his attention to driving and was glad to see that he was still in his lane and wasn't about to run into anything. The driveway to the farm house was straight and led up to the side of the large white structure. Fields of corn and potatoes could be seen from where he parked. He got out and looked back at her. She was awake, but had not yet moved.
He said nothing, just waited. Eventually, she slowly unfolded herself. Every movement was careful. She swung open the door of the truck and turned on the seat to bring her legs out. Pausing there, he could hear that her breathing was swallow. He went around the truck towards her, but stopped before he reached out to help her. Eyes closed and lips pressed down into a thin line, she eased herself out onto the dirt. Once out, she limped a few steps before she pushed the door closed.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Lilith," she said, not making eye contact as she walked up to where he stood.
"I'm Adam and my wife is Eva."
He started walking towards the front porch, forcing himself to walk slower so that she could keep up with him. He gait was still unsteady and her stride was jerky. As he approached the house, the front door swung open and a woman appeared. Her graying hair was wrapped up in a bun but wisps trailed around her wrinkled face.
Eva was speaking as she came out, "I got the soup on and-" She paused when she saw the girl walking with her husband. Her first impression was that she was ten or eleven, but then she rose her face up and Eva realized that this was a woman.
"I hope there is enough for another. This here is Lilith," Adam said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the girl who had stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Dread painted over her face as she stared at the steps without moving. Adam had not noticed, he strode into the kitchen and sat down so that he could untie his boots. But Eva watched as Lilith labored up the steps. Eva wanted to help her, but felt that no one was allowed to touch this delicate creature. Eva said nothing when Lilith looked up to her, but gestured for her to go into the kitchen. Pulling the door closed, Eva followed her in.
"The soup is about ready. If you want, you can wash up at the sink."
Eva walked while she spoke, brushing past the girl and moving towards the cupboards. She pointed towards the sink on her way past. Adam kicked off his boots and sighed. Wiggling his toes was a simple pleasure that he indulged in without noticing that Lilith had stopped to watch him. When he opened his eyes, he saw her regarding him with a weak smile. She had also been wiggling her toes. It was then that he realized that she was barefoot. How long had her journey been? The sadness that he felt was reflected in her eyes.
There had been something in her face that Adam had felt accused him of robbing her of a small moment of happiness. Was her life so bleak as that? Looking her over, he became suspicious that was the case. Her dress was simple cotton and had browned with dust. Her hair was tangled and stood up in stray tufts. There was dried blood on her elbows and knees that had clotted to make irregular scabs. As she walked to the sink, he could see that her feet were heavily calloused.
Once her hands had been washed, she turned and dripped towards the table. Adam rose, snatched up a towel and passed it to her as she sat down. Quiet, she thanked him and dried her hands. He sat across from her and watched as Eva set the table. The dishes clanked and the silverware clinked. Both Adam and Eva started when deep thunder rumbled. Neither had expected the coming of a storm.
Eva sighed, thinking of the clothing that was nearly dry and still hanging out on the lines. It would now hang there another day and delay the washing of the clothing in the basket sitting next to the machine. Adam couldn't help staring more closely at Lilith, she had not seemed surprised by the rain that now sluiced over the house. Her eyes were down cast to the table and her shoulders slumped. Had she fallen asleep again?
"Well, that storm came out of no where," Adam said.
Eva snorted and started serving out soup. She frequently snorted at him when he made those silly comments that pointed out what everyone already knew. It made him smile. The predictable response was comforting. Lilith was watching them and her heart ached with envy for the simple and familiar exchanges that passed between them. What would it be like to have lived with someone so long as that? It was something that she would never know.
Eva reached past Lilith to fill the bowl and her arm brush across the girl's shoulder. Lilith jerked back, too late. A small, trembling moan came out along with tears that drew pale lines in the dirt on her face. That quickly, it had begun.
"I'm sorry," Eva said, obviously perplexed by the girl's distress.
Lilith wiped her eyes and began to carefully eat the soup. Blowing a few times, touching the spoon to her lips and then putting the hot food in her mouth. The soup was everything that made these two people so wonderful. It was simple and hearty. There was nothing in it that wasn't good and healthy. The tears came again. Sitting beside them was now the blight and they did not recognize her for what she was.
Lightening gashed the night and slamming thunder soon followed. The wind scratched against the windows and whined to be let in. The kitchen lights flickered, then went dark. In this gloom, Eva coughed. She gasped then another bout of coughing wracked her. Lilith could hear that Adam had gone to her. No words transpired between them, but his concern and love was louder then the storm.
With difficultly, Lilith rose. Pain had come the way that it always did in times of resting. Bones and muscle screamed at her that the stillness had not been long enough, but she knew what was to come and had no desire to witness this again. These people had not deserved this. Why had she visited them? There had been something in Adam's eyes back in the truck that had compelled her to go with him. There had never been a time that she could resist that summon. As random as everything in life, it came and took her to a place. Then this. Always this.
Shuffling across the lawn, she wanted only to escape, but Adam caught her arm and spun her around so that they were looking at each other. Rain washed her face to white.
"What did you do to her?" he asked.
His voice was broken. She could hear Eva's death in his words. The entirety of his being now broken and weighed with her death. Denying his accusation, she shook her head. But did it matter that she had no control of it? Did it matter that it had not been her intention to bring death to their house? And now, his hand gripped death. He would join Eva again soon. He seemed to know this and there was no fear. Instead his face held something else.
"You poor dear," he whispered as he pulled her into his embrace.
Her body stiffened. But the hug changed nothing for him, that damage had already been done. A change came upon her. Shaking, she reached up and gripped onto the back of his shirt. Willing him to stay standing there forever, she screamed out her rage at the God that had created her. Always the betrayer. Her fury increased the wrath of the storm.
"I forgive you," he whispered into her ear as he fell to his knees.
His weight drug her down with him. Puddling water had created a slick of mud that they squished into. There was nothing left to do. The desire to run pressed itself into her chest, but she stayed. Gripping her hands tighter, she found herself praying. She knew that there was a God. She had once looked upon the glory of his face. Even now she hated him and had never before prayed to him. But now, He had to hear her. He had to know that this was wrong. How could he punish her through these people?
Adam coughed and he tightened his arms around her. The pain of this embrace was nothing compared to the pain her sickness now gifted him. When he took his last breath, he fell to the ground with a thud. His arms were still holding her and she fell with him. The puddle was deep enough to cover her face. Heavy and solid, his body pressed her down into the mud and her head went deeper beneath the water. Her lungs burned as the air ran out. Relaxing, she let the water take her.
This had been the answer to her prayer.