After a long theological debate that lasted hours to midnight, the supper was over, and everyone went back to their private quarters within the monastery except himself, sitting in the same chair with a look of gloominess within the kitchen, which is currently empty.
He ponders and reflects upon himself what transpired in the evening, recalling the issue of suffering. The problem of evil is complex and confusing, and no one can claim to have perfect answers. Although Seth believes in the Lord with all his heart that someday, the Heavenly Father will grant mankind resolution regarding their dilemma and how to overcome the challenges,
But that day isn't here yet, and Seth can only sighed in exhaustion for stillness and emptiness in this area. He felt uneasy as it was uncomfortable to be here alone. "God, please grant me strength and wisdom to deal with future crises, he prayed in hope for the Lord's wisdom to guide him in troubled times that may or may not come.
Loneliness and quietness surrounded him while silence reigned supreme in this kitchen. He was not sure why he was still here in the first place. Was it doubtful of God's reign and law? Is it the cause of his being here, contemplating this troubling issue lingering in his mind?
No, it is something else different. He had already cast away all fears or doubts before the Lord. Seth had sworn himself to pledge his entire life to the one and only God, which is the one responsible for everything in his life.
For it was the Heavenly Father who guided him through the paths of righteousness and virtue. He will always be grateful to have been blessed with the gifts of the divine entity, as well as having this life. When he lost everyone dear to him, Seth learned the importance of making a strong connection with others. It's hard to watch someone die without being able to do anything.
Sometimes, however, it feels like he has no choice but to sit back and watch. Watching others suffer and struggle without being able to help, feeling powerless, and seeing people lose their way without anyone to guide them through their journey—that is true hell for anyone.
His lips twisted into a bitter frown, and the memories of dead friends replayed within his mind. Terrible images flashed when he shut his eyes. Seth clenched his fists, tears streaking down his cheeks while he breathed heavily.
Even when others have hurt him, the flesh always finds means to torment him further away from the ray of light. The only thing keeping him grounded is the reminder that the Lord is watching and listening to him at all times. No matter what or where, God will always be by his side.
Suddenly, the door gently opened, snapping him out of his daze and quickly wiping away the tears in order to appear as normal as possible. Thankfully, it was just one nun, and it was none other than his friend, Sister Tera, who was happily entering the kitchen.
"Father Seth," she said in surprise, delighted in seeing him again. "I have expected someone to be still here." Her old age features softened at the sight of him. "How was the feast?" Her white eyebrows arched, curious about how everything went.
Straightening himself up, he nodded politely at her and said, "The feast went perfectly well. The men behaved, but..." As much as he wanted to hide his own emotions, the tone and expression of his face gave everything away. "They were acting like usual," he thought, thinking he couldn't be honest about his real feelings on the matter.
Walking to where the nearest tables were, she began sitting down next to him with a face that screamed concern: "You're not telling me the whole truth, are you?" In which she knew something was wrong by looking at his slumped shoulders and trembling hands, "Come, speak to me, Father Seth. You can tell me," she said, placing her warm, wrinkled hand on top of his, showing compassion and empathy.
Glancing at the old lady, who has been like a sweet grandmother in nurturing him with affection and kindness, a part of him wanted to blurt everything out, while the other part was still hesitant about whether she or anyone else should hear the whole thing.
By mentally asking for God's presence, he felt at ease being reminded by the Lord's ever-watching eyes, "They were arguing with each other again." Sadness was apparent in his tone. The nun listened without interrupting the speaker. She patiently waited for him to continue.
Shame and guilt formed in his chest. "We were discussing why God allowed suffering to exist, and a brother of mine was filled with pain in his heart from losing a loved one to the point of desiring revenge and hate," he said with a strong sense of responsibility weighing on his mind. "He said that his sister, who was innocent, was raped and brutally murdered by the soldiers of the Empire," speaking in a clear mind, "and after that, I told him to learn and forgive just so they can find peace, but..."
Seth placed his hand on his heart, gripping it tightly as tears started flowing freely. His vision blurred by the amount of liquid escaping his eyes. "I still can sense his pain through his gaze; I know now how much he's suffering from that incident itself," the young founder sobbed. "So why is it that I feel as though he is holding hatred within his heart?"
Beside him, the nun gazed sadly at the floor, holding his back hand in comfort and rubbing her thumb over the top of his said hand. "There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel, Father Seth. Everyone deals with pain differently," she said, pausing for a moment before continuing her statement.
"God acts according to what is best, but when there is no best available option, he will attempt to bring about miracles that are creatable and ideal within the limitations of our reality," Tera answered in plain language as she looked to meet her friend's wet eyes.
A miracle in which all of mankind always hoped for, a sign from the Lord of a new hope for all who believe in him and his messiah. Such a thing was highly unlikely to happen due to the circumstances they are dealing with at this moment.
In a foreign world, there is no messiah in a sphere. How would the Son of God then be able to bring salvation when there is no sacrifice to take place for this universe? When shall the messiah return, and where would he go?
Who is the messiah?
"I...I need to rest," Seth said, rising from his seat with abrupt action, causing the sister to flinch slightly in surprise. "Sorry for my behavior, Tera. But thank you for this talk; it helped," holding her hand in appreciation, forcing a smile on his face to reassure her that everything is well.
Sister Tera didn't say anything but observed Seth closely before softening her face once more. "Let me take you there," she said, standing up. "Would it be fair for the old lady to accompany you all the way?" She chuckled, tilting her head in a playful manner.
Seth also returned the chuckle, "I'm not a child anymore, sister," turning his head sideways in her direction, "but yes, I'd like for you to join me." Accepting her offer to keep him company, together they walked side by side, leaving out of the kitchen and into the cold, dim hallways of the monastery.
There was quietness in the air. He was holding hands as if he were a little boy being with his mother, a touching scene that could melt anyone's heart. This is what true friendship is: a bond between two beings who care for one another and love each other as if they were truly family.
Its funny, he never had a mother to begin with; sure, Seth had figures to look up to, but not a biological parent. Although that doesn't matter, it is the bond they have with each other that is more important than blood relations.
Love itself is what truly matters; it is the only force strong enough to save everyone in need and lift them to their feet. It is what keeps Seth going through the world, searching for clues to return home. It is what he missed and will always miss.
In what he experienced when he was a boy, the smiles and moments he shared with his previous friends were unforgettable; those days will be forever cherished even when years pass him by, and he has grown up into a young adult now.
Looking at her, "every waking moment of my life, I always thought that I was alone." His voice was filled with emotion as he spoke, "all by myself to bear the burden of surviving to see another day for what? To see the sun again?" Soft laughter escaped his lips, shaking his head at the mere notion itself.
"But then I found God; he gave me life and purpose as well as friends that supported me along the way," she said, staring straight ahead. "With these two things, it gives me a reason to live and continue onward through life while also knowing there are others out there who can understand me better than I can," letting her lead him throughout the dark corridor before finally reaching the door with a carved name.
This very room is separated from the section of the monastery with its own hall meant for housing the residents of this holy church. Here, the door is visible and easy for all to see in case anyone needs anything, which is highly likely to happen anytime soon.
Letting go of his hand, she turned to him with a compassionate smile. "Never forget that you are never alone." She stepped forward and embraced him, pulling her close to his chest. "Always remember that God and the people here will be there to support you in times of need." Departing from the embrace, Sister Tera gently put her hand on his left cheek.
"Would you like me to stay with you for prayer before we depart?" She asked, inviting herself to enter his room, but the offer was denied immediately by a shake of the head as Seth grabbed the hand from his cheek and politely declined with a kind gesture.
The older woman nodded. "I see. Sleep well tonight. Tomorrow morning, a new day awaits you, my child," she said, turning around as she made her way back into the darkness of the hallway. Leaving him behind, he gazed at her disappearing figure for a moment.
Seth brought up the hand that he held with Sister Tera, looking at his own opened palm before clenching it tightly. "With so much tragedy and deaths, God always shows me love in small ways like this," his lips curving into a wide grin. "Thank you," he whispered, so faint but loud enough for the Lord to hear it from where he stood.
Hopefully, spreading the heavenly father's teachings will help all to understand that they are never alone in this world; there is always light within the deepest pit of darkness, and all they have to do is have faith. They are never truly alone.
Not anymore, not in this sinful world. As he himself truly believes that is the case, looking closer at the raised hand, he can mentally see the reflection of his own face on the surface, feeling as though it were a mirror in itself. "When the time finally takes me, I hope to see my friends again in heaven," he says, muttering his wish aloud before heading back inside his bedroom.
Closing the door behind him, Seth could only sigh in relief at finally being able to rest from the theological conversation he was suddenly thrown into. Regardless, he was more than ready to get into bed and lay down on the soft mattress that called for his presence.
Yes, rest is what he desperately needed after having the debate. It is hurtful to know that God couldn't or wouldn't give advice to the many who tried to pray for help or guidance. Instead, nearly all of them receive silence in response, if the almighty were not concerned with their plights.
"I don't know..." Closing his eyes, he breathes out tiredly, "How should I react in regards to this?" Laying in a fetal position, he hugged himself tightly. "If I ask too much, will it be unfair of me to expect it to happen?" The image of himself desperately praying to receive nothing but silence
"And why choose when you consider yourself loving?"
