What does it mean to be 'Good Enough'

6429 0 0

Perhaps fourty minutes had elapsed from the time Gauge had departed the camp, leaving Argent behind to begin his part of the plan, while the rogue set deeper into the wilds to complete his own. He had moved swiftly at first, wary of the peaceful silence of the forest. It still seemed deceptive to him, false somehow, though he had nothing to go off aside from his gut instinct.

No arts for that.. Yet.

He thought to himself as he moved beneath a set of low hanging branches, swinging across a small stream feeding off the river ahead. Making it to the water's edge, he turned his gaze east and followed the line of water, trying to visualize the boundaries of the orchards. Reaching down towards his belt, he brought his hand to a small, hexagonal stone. It was framed with leather strips which allowed it to be secured more easily to something like a pendant or a sash, glowing with small lights at two of its cut sides. As Gauge rested his hand over the stone and channeled Kai into the object, a third light appeared at a third point.

"Alright... Next."

Keeping up the pace, Gauge moved with purpose through the woods. Cutting back along the edge that roughly defined the line between the Eve'lln Forest as it pertained to the town of Thrylld, and the untamed depths beyond that spread who knew how far into the Emerald Spine. Eyes alert as he went, searching, assessing. Occasionally he would stop, channeling energy into the stone at his waist before moving on, until all six sides shone with light. Allowing himself a satisfied sigh of accomplishment as the last edge flickered to life, Gauge looked around the relative clearing he had stopped in, breathing deeply for a few long moments to try and slow his heart rate from the constant running. Once he felt a little relaxed, or at least like he wasn't straining for air, the rogue set his pack down against a tree and hoisted himself up onto a branch. Climbing a ways up to find a spot where he could comfortably sit in a natural gap in the trunk, he scanned the area one last time to be sure nothing unwanted was lurking about, before dipping his consciousness into the aether plane.

The visualization of the Arcanasphere slowly overtook his senses, showing his central basin to be perhaps a third of the way full to its capacity. The energy roiled and turned upon itself given the extra space, swirling like a galaxy inside. From the edges spread the winding paths of his Aspects, Darkness and Psyche, trailing along a sequence of arts. [Shadow Veil], [Lesser Shadow], [Shadow Spew], [Hidden Weapon], [Extinguish], [Essence Bite]. The arts shone softly in their nodes along the side of Darkness. Tentatively he considered the arts beyond for a brief moment, straining his aether vision as far as it would allow him. One's point of view within the sphere could only extend as far as their energy reached, making it impossible to know with certainty what lay hidden beyond the edges. Of course, there were vast recorded lists of known arts. Endless theories about the way the infinite paths of the aether might arrange themselves. But ultimately, each path was unique to the individual and nothing was set in stone. Even another person walking the path of Darkness would not access the same arts at the same times... Or even view them in the same way at all.

It was this element of uncontrollable randomization that, in a nutshell, determined who was 'gifted' and who was not. Not simply which aspects were open to you, but also how much 'affinity' you had towards those aspects. Or rather, how deep your options ran. How they developed. Lingering over a few of the distant nodes just at the edge of his vision, Gauge finally pulled his energy back and shifted to the side of Psyche. [Empathy], [Sense Aura], [Scan Alignment], [Find Aura], [Suggestion].

The sounds of snapping underbrush suddenly shook Gauge from his trance. His hands moved for his bow as he tucked himself tight against the tree to become hidden as possible, the shadows of the leaves literally gathering themselves around him to block him from view as he centered his arts The noise was distant, but continual. A heavy rustling, and occasional breaking sound, almost like... Like.. Something was being dragged.

"That can't be good.."

He muttered, trying to push it to the back of his mind. It really wasn't his problem, whatever it was, so long as it didn't come this way. Settling his back against the tree he tried to ignore the sounds, those heavy, writhing noises..

Gauge, Gauge please!

The rogue sat forward in a jolt, a cold sweat immediately taking him by force.

Gauge, what do I do?!

The voice echoed in his mind like a searing scar. A memory of a past not so distant that it could be so easily forgotten. Covering his ears, Gauge swore under his breath and shook his head, trying to drown out the sounds of dragging bodies. Trying to ignore the noises that had given voice to his suppressed thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you really think we'll ever make it up there?"

The question passed between two figures as they lay upon an open stretch of grass, in a field just beyond the limits of a small village. The speaker, a female, turned her head to glance over at her friend and traveling companion; a dark-haired male with a stern expression but a calm demeanour. He shrugs his shoulders slightly, stoney azure eyes never moving from the shifting landscape above, staring into the masses of floating islands and roiling energy.

"Well.. We've made it this far, haven't we? Cross-country all the way from the Old Kingdom, out here to the rifts... Nothing has stopped us yet, so..."

He shrugged yet again, his hands adjusting slightly where they rested behind his head. At first glance the two seemed to be nothing more than poor street kids, with rugged cloth apparel and simple implements of bronze strapped to their belts... And that was pretty much the truth of it. Young and full of dreams of treasure hunting and adventure, fueled by tales of loot and glory in the wildlands and the airborne islands, stories passed from table to table at the taverns they had so frequently snuck into during their days in the Sceptre of Light's orphanage.

"Anyways.. I suppose we should be getting back to the Inn. It'll be dark soon."

Rising to his feet, the boy extended a hand to assist the slightly shorter female, who hopped energetically up and followed in close pursuit. Together they walked through the plains, through the town streets, talking as they went. They stood at the stairs of the inn together, laughing and joking before splitting off for their rooms.

"See you in the morning, bright and early don't forget!"

"Stellar."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Fuck!"

Gauge swore loudly, tearing himself free of the images in his mind.  Swinging down from the tree in a wild leap, he hit the ground running, sprinting in the direction of the sound. Fragments of events still panned through his head, fighting to be remembered. Visions of suffering, scars he had buried, wounds never healed... Coming to a full stop as he burst through a wide swath of bushes, he desperately jerked his head around to identify the source of all this. Forcibly exhaling an angry breath, he panted in frustration and yet also relief at the sight of a Jellycap slowly but steadily hauling along the body of a timber wolf. Leaning heavily against a tree, the rogue braced himself against the trunk and tried to shut off his mind. Tried to make everything stop, to pull himself back to the current reality. But as his eyes wandered back over the Jellycap, its tendrils squirming and wrapping around the wolf, a spark shot though him yet again. Gritting his teeth, he nocked an arrow and drew back on his bow.

You're making it worse. Just ignore it. That's all you can do anyway. Leave it.

A voice that was his own, but not quite his own, echoed in the back of his mind.

It's not your problem to begin with. Stay in your lane.

He closed his eyes hard, fighting hard to strain out the voice. [Sense Aura]. He adjusted his vision before opening his eyes to stop himself from seeing things in detail, viewing the world instead in swirls of force and colour. The effects of his art revealed, surprisingly, that the timber wolf being dragged away was still alive. Barely, but alive. Clinging to life.  Frowning, he adjusted his aim between the Jellycap and the wolf, considering simply putting the thing out of its misery... But just before he released the arrow, a gentle rusting from the side and a soft chorus of whimpering caught his attention. A small group of pups hiding in the gap of a fallen tree.

You're not a HERO!

"Shut.. UP!"

Gauge barked out loud, sending the puppies into a recoil as they scampered to hide deeper beneath the log. But he wasn't shouting at them.. He was shouting at himself. The twang of his bowstring shook the air as he took his shot, striking the Jellycap in its stem beneath the bell. The creature hissed and released its quarry, tendrils slithering back to hang around its form as it began bouncing in Gauge's direction.

"That's it, you ugly bastard.."

The rogue growled, readying another projectile. Firing into the Jellycap's stem once again, his second arrow almost split the first as it sunk into its target. But the animate showed no signs of stopping, aggravated but not particularly damaged. Clicking his tongue against his teeth, Gauge swung his bow over his shoulder and drew out an axe in one hand, along with several well-balanced knives from his belt in the other. Dashing forward to meet the creature on slightly more open terrain, he lunged at it as it leapt at him. The jellycap tossed itself in a helicopter-like motion, swinging its stings like blades as Gauge went low in anticipation, dipping beneath and swiping the creature center mass. His weapon bit deep, shearing off a portion of the Jellycap's base as they passed one another, its stings grazing past his left side shoulder.

Brushing off the minor damage and doubling back to press the attack, Gauge pivoted short on his heel and brought his other hand down with the fan of knives, hurling all three blades into the monster's bell. It screeched and spasmed as they pierced the mesoglea and into the gastrodermis beneath. Before it had any chance to right itself, the rogue was channeling his arts. [Shadow Spew.] Torrents of blackened, suffocating energy streamed from Gauge's outstretched hand. A flow of damaging kai which choked and burned, melting away flesh and organic material alike. The Jellycap hissed like a deflating balloon as it wilted, thrashed, and died. Even then in its motionless state, Gauge was on top of it. Axe in hand, he mauled the creature's lifeless form again and again, his breathing coming in laboured and furious gasps as sudden tears ran down his cheeks.

You couldn't save her, you can't save anyone. You're just a pathetic, third-rate rogue off the streets... You can't do anything! Stop putting on the act. Stop trying to lie.

"Damnit.. Damnit!"

He vented his rage and desperation with every swing of his weapon. On and on, stopping only as a sudden dull 'plink' resulted from a hit. A small fragment of argonite set against the head of his axe where he had all but split the Jellycap into mulch. Carefully he reached down and picked it up, sniffling slightly. Pulling back to his senses and clearing his throat, he looked around the woods, unreasonably self-conscious that someone might have seen him.

Ah.. Right.

Well, something had. The scared group of puppies had slunk out from the woodline to gather around the limp form of their mother, and all of them were now staring at Gauge. Blinking, he looked at their small group for a long time. The frightened stance of the puppies, hackles up. The shallow breathing of their dying parent, stinging wounds burning into her legs and flank. Slowly he pulled himself to his feet.

It isn't your problem.

He watched one of the pups whine, rubbing its muzzle inquisitively beneath the mother wolf's. 

Don't try and play the hero.

He looked away, his vision blurry and breathing shaken.  Gradually he began to walk, putting the wolves behind him.

You can't fail if you don't try. No one can blame you if it isn't your responsibility.

A sudden, loud cry from one of the pups stopped him dead in his tracks. A desperate, mourning wail, pleading for its mother.

"...Kioku's tits... What am I doing?"

He asked himself angrily, turning on his heels and pacing back towards the small family pack. Watching as even the smallest of the pups began to bark and growl at his approach, holding their ground around their mother. Rolling his eyes, the rogue pushed one over with his boot, kneeling down afterwards.

"Relax."

He scolded the tiny creature as he popped a vial from his belt. Removing the stopper with his teeth, he tilted the mother's head back and rested it on his knee, pouring the concoction down the back of her throat. Tossing the bottle aside afterwards he gently set the animal back upon the ground, standing up and walking away without a word. Returning to the spot he had left his pack, guided by a light on the stone at his belt, he paused to look back only once... Just to see the mother wolf shakily propping herself on her feet, her pups running excitedly around her and nipping at her ears.

You think that you accomplished something? Saved something? That wasn't even your fight to begin with. It had nothing to do with you. What are you now, projecting? Pushing your failures onto wild dogs? You're pathetic.

Gauge picked up his pack and put it on, sighing heavily. His eyes were dull, the stains of tears still lightly visible in the dirt on his face. Rubbing his eyes against his sleeve, he steadied himself. The side of his neck stung with the burn of the Jellycaps stings, where they had brushed across his cloak and found his skin. But it didn't seem like it was making him dizzy, or that it might cause him to collapse from some slow-acting venom, and so Gauge soldiered on. Adjusting the stone at his belt, he selected the light that would guide him back to Argent.

"I'm such a hypocrite..."

 

Please Login in order to comment!